Conjunctive Point
by Merith
Summary: Written for the summer o8 stages of love challenge, this is a series of five stories told from Heero's POV, and how he fell in love, thought he lost it all, and how life turned out all right despite it all.
1. Part 1: El Manana

Title: Conjunctive Point

Pairing: Heero/Duo

Theme: Time of Day - morning

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: BL, Angst, Language

Disclaimer: I own neither Gundam Wing or the Gorillaz's song title.

Notes: Written for the Summer 08, Stages of Love (an LJ community), this is the first of five stories for this theme

**Part 1: El Manana**

That Monday morning I can honestly say was the worst in my immediate history. It had started well – rather like any other Monday morning. I woke (oddly alone, having fallen asleep not alone), did my run, started coffee for my roommate, took my shower and dressed for the day. I was in the middle of the regional news section on the local paper's news feed when my roommate made an appearance. Still a typical morning seeing as my roommate made a habit of not stirring until he absolutely had to.

Duo stumbled by the kitchen table where I sat to the counter, barely acknowledging my greeting with a grunt. I watched him pour coffee into a mug with an amused lift of lips. Wearing rumpled boxers and a tank tee, his braid in a disheveled mess, he still tempted me to forget that it was a workday, and to try to think of a way to entice him back to bed to continue what the weekend started. When I woke, discovering he had left sometime in the night, I wasn't too surprised. What began in the late hours Friday was still so new, and we had yet to talk about this step in our friendship. Saturday it hadn't seemed important; Saturday was for exploration, experimenting, and satiation. Sunday had been too filled with things left undone; the night ending with continued touches, kisses, and sharing bodies. Words didn't seem necessary. At least, not to me.

I went back to reading news feeds, finishing the fruit in my bowl and tea in my cup, knowing that conversation would be impossible with Duo until after coffee and a shower. Maybe that's why when Duo started to speak, it came as such a shock, not expecting him to do more than grunt or mumble. Maybe if I had expected more, his words wouldn't have cut as deep. Maybe, but I doubt it.

His words were still reeling in my head, and I could only stare at him, trying to fathom where they were coming from – why he was saying them. He was looking at me, waiting for a response, his eyes clear and sleep-free, his mouth set.

"It's for the best, you know. Shouldn't have…" his hand waved in the air vaguely between us.

"But…" I blinked and shook my head. "I don't think it's for the best… I _want_ what we've started."

"Look," he said, and turned away. "I shouldn't have kissed you. We'd been drinking and… and…" he was looking back at me again, fiercely, anger sharp and pointed in his eyes. "Damn it, Heero! You're my fucking best friend, and I'd rather put a bullet in my head than ruin that!"

He was glaring at me, breathing heavy, waiting; emotions barely held in check. I could only stare mutely back, trying to figure out what went wrong, when it went wrong and how to make it right again. Finally, after a minute or five, he dropped his gaze, shoved his cereal bowl away, and rubbed his face, raking fingers through his bangs. "God, Heero. I fucked up, and I'm so sorry. I wish I could take it back, but I can't. Please…" His voice trickled away, and he sat there with his head bowed, face cradled in both palms.

The waver in his voice did what his words could not. Whatever was bouncing around in that head of his, whatever he truly felt, I knew it wasn't going to be resolved then. It wasn't the end of the world, wasn't the end of 'us' – at least the part of us that remained friends.

"I understand," I told him softly though I didn't really. I understood that he didn't want to face it, whatever we were becoming. Didn't want to talk about it any more. Rising to my feet, knees feeling weak and shaky, I reached out to grip his shoulder briefly, a firm squeeze and release. "I do not regret what happened," I continued, my voice still soft, barely there. "And I hope that one day, you will feel the same." Without waiting for him to say anything more, I picked up my dishes, took them to the sink, rinsing them and putting them in the dishwasher in automatic fashion. He was still bowed into himself when I turned to retrieve my palm comp, and left the kitchen.

It was still a workday, and my calendar was full.

* * *

The morning passed quickly, more from my wanting to forget our breakfast discussion than with work needing to be done. My partner and I were actively investigating a case; however, we'd reached a standstill. He was currently down in the dungeons of the County Clerk's office chasing a potential connection between the warehouse we were interested in, and the business under suspicion. Wufei's research difficulty increased ninety percent once it was discovered the index key for the county records for the span of time we were interested in had been… scrambled. File index numbers were not matching to business charter to tax and property information; the hunt became the proverbial needle in a haystack, and I wasn't expecting him back at the office for at least two or three days.

I kept busy typing up both our field notes, completing case updates to division, and tracking down and scheduling interviews with peripheral persons of interest. When I finally looked at the clock, it didn't surprise me to find that it was on the other side of one. What did surprise me is, I hadn't heard from Duo. While we didn't have lunch together every day, he usually called or dropped by at least once when we were both in the office. I knew he wasn't working an active investigation; he had been complaining on Friday about the paper shuffling he and Trowa (his partner this quarter) had been doing.

The call to his desk wasn't picked up. A quick jaunt to his shared office showed that both he and Trowa were gone. I stood in the doorway, frowning at his empty desk, debating on whether to leave a note, or wait until later that night, after we were both at home.

"Maxwell and Barton have been roped into the Greenwich project," a voice behind me informed. Turning, I caught sight of another senior agent, one who'd been around from the Preventer founding days. I offered my thanks in the form of a nod before pushing off, and returning to my own office. Lunch was forgotten; I kept protein bars in the back of one of my desk drawers, and I still had phone logs to review.

It was past six when Wufei called informing me he was done for the day. I had been dreading an update from him for most of the afternoon, expecting a highly agitated rant about government systems and minimum dollar employs. But instead, Wufei's report was short, letting me know he thought he had determined a pattern to the mixed up index key, and might have better luck in the morning. After telling him to go home, I decided to take my own advice.

Duo hadn't called all day.

The apartment was empty; no message waited, and no sign that Duo had been there since the morning. I went about normal routine dinner, dishes, shower, and bed, all in automated fashion, refusing to dwell on thoughts of change, refusing to allow the disappointment to surface, refusing to acknowledge the pain picking at the edge of my soul.

Exhausted in a way that defied logic, sleep was still nearly elusive; I was awake the moment the front door opened, my hand instantly reaching for my off-duty weapon. Familiar and comforting noises I'd come to associate with Duo after years of living with him drifted down the hall, and I relaxed. Briefly, the idea of rising to physically check on him was reviewed and dismissed. If he hadn't wanted to see or speak with me all day, he definitely wouldn't at one in the morning. Instead, I closed my eyes, envisioning his movements by sound alone.

The soft clicks as he flipped the locking device to the front door. The muted scuffle of boots being unlaced and slid off, only to be carried first to the kitchen, where he opened a cupboard, fetched a glass and filled it with water, all without turning on a light. His footsteps were light, ghosting sounds as he left the kitchen and made his way down the hall to the bedrooms. There was a hesitation in motion outside my door, and I opened my eyes, peering through the darkness, wondering if he'd knock or come in and join me. A handful of seconds passed, and I heard him sigh and move away. The knob of his bedroom door rattled, followed by the snick of the door closing.

I closed my eyes again, knowing he'd be stripping off his clothes, and climbing between the sheets of his own bed. There would be no repeats of the weekend. At least, not in the foreseeable future.

* * *

Tuesday morning mirrored Monday without the breakfast discussion. Mainly due to Duo having left before I'd finished my morning run. At least, there'd been a note left behind propped up against the tea canister. A scrawl of two barely legible lines – _Working__ heavy hours. Won't be around much._ – with only the initial of his first name. I set his note aside and finished preparing my breakfast. I knew yesterday when I'd heard he'd been assigned to the Greenwich project I might see little of him. Rumors of the black hole agents fell into working on that case were commonplace.

The highlight of the day came from Wufei, arriving just after lunch with documents giving us the much-needed link sought after. The rest of the day was spent putting our evidence in order to obtain search warrants, collecting our evidence team, and executing five simultaneous no-knock searches in separate locations. Our investigation had hit with all the force and speed of reentry.

Less than three hours before dawn, I arrived back at the apartment and discovered that Duo was home. And by the leftovers wrapped in the refrigerator, he must have expected me there as well. Frowning, I unwrapped a strip of chicken breast, and poured water into a glass. Duo's chicken was good, and finished long before I'd wanted it to be; hunger gnawed quietly now, and I finished off my water while penning a quick message to Duo, using the back of the one he'd left me that – _Tuesday _– morning.

Needing sleep since I had to report to the office no later than nine in the morning, I left the kitchen and headed to bed. But, I stopped and stood outside the door to Duo's room, letting my palm resting lightly on the wood. I wondered if he was asleep or if he had woke and was now listening to me, as I had him the night before. I wondered what his reaction would be if I gave in, opened his door, and joined him in his bed. I snorted softly, and forced myself to turn away. His words Monday had been clear enough.

* * *

Between our suddenly busy schedules, I didn't see, or hear, from Duo at all on Wednesday. The night was another late one, though not as late as the day before. At least now, the case was in the DA's hands. Wufei and I had made our case, though there was still evidence collected in the warrants served to sift through, and a half dozen interviews yet to complete. What was left was day work, and reports to finish, nothing that would keep me tied to the office past normal working hours. I wanted an early night Thursday, to sleep, and maybe, a chance to talk with Duo again.

Duo put in an appearance just before noon, dropping into the chair beside my desk and exchanging derogatory banter with Wufei like he had nearly every day when he had the chance for the past three or four years. I could only stare at him, glancing to my partner when he rose, and waved a folder in the air.

"I'll get the hardcopies filed before Moritz comes down to pick them up himself."

"Good idea," I told him. "He's called four times for them already." I watched Wufei exit, and waited a moment before turning my head to see Duo looking at me. He dropped his gaze immediately and began spinning the clear plastic resin paperweight I'd received for the anniversary of my fifth year as a Preventer.

"So, you good to go grab some lunch now?" He asked, his eyes on the gleaming gold disk shining up through the bottom of the paperweight.

I waited a moment before answering. "I have time," I said quietly, and began locking up my computer and putting case materials away. "You're not busy?" I asked, eyes flicking his way and back. "Not sucked into the black hole yet?"

He laughed and let the paperweight drop back to the desk. "Nah, they only need Tro and me to retrieve a bit of intel for them." Duo shrugged as he stood stretching lazily, and moving away from my desk. Standing at the office window over looking the south parking lot, Duo added, "Now we're back to paper shuffling."

"Something will come up," I consoled, like I did every time assignments slowed, and Duo became restless. "It always does." Desk cleared and data secured, I rose and Duo turned toward the door.

"Yeah, what I wouldn't give for a good long infiltration with a bit of explosion for the finale," he tossed over his shoulder exiting the office.

"Maybe if you didn't advertise that wish at every resource meeting, it just might be granted," I told him, shutting, and locking the door behind me.

Duo laughed again, telling me he thought he might have a chance as soon as the R and D director's eyebrows grew back. And as I joined him, he launched into the story on how exactly the director's eyebrows were singed away, and how part of the R and D resembled a war zone. I knew the story; he'd told it to me often enough. I'd been there in the labs watching as Duo showed the director and half his staff the chemicals he'd used to create the small controlled explosion, damaging a cache of weapons belonging to the resistance group he'd been watching. Unfortunately, it didn't work quite so well for the director.

Walking at his side, I was smiling, oddly comforted in the rituals that made up our life together.

* * *

Normal seemed to have returned, if the past week were removed from memory. Duo made a point of acting as he always had – prior to Friday night's drinks being not being the only thing shared, prior to Monday morning regrets. And I let him. It had only been a few days, but I had missed my friend, missed having lunch together, missed his laugh.

After dinner on Thursday found us side-by-side sitting on the floor in front of the couch, game controllers in hand and a head-to-head battle on the vid screen. A series of rapid button pressing had his player pinned, and the count began to endgame. Duo's body jerked, his thumbs frantically working the controller trying to remove his player from obvious death, and his mouth yelling obscenities at the screen, and dire threats in my direction.

Just before the countdown ended, Duo's shoulder collided with mine, and my hold slipped, freeing his player. I growled and crashed back into him; my player tossing his to the mat once again, pinned to the canvas. Duo was laughing, and he crashed into me again, his upper body behind the jolt. It rocked me to the side, but I had expected it, and kept his player pinned.

That didn't stop me from my own assault.

Duo's hand rose from his controller, and he shoved my shoulder. I rocked again, giving him a smug look. He growled, tossing his controller aside, and as the 'GAME OVER!' message flashed neon bright on the screen, he was pushing me to the floor, back to the carpet. I was laughing, expecting a barrage of taunts, and mock punches. I wasn't expecting Duo's mouth on mine. I wasn't expecting his hands to bury themselves in my hair, or his body to be pressed against mine, letting me know more than his abs were rock hard.

And I'll be damned if I didn't answer him kiss for kiss. Legs parting, and hands gripping the denim of his jeans, squeezing his ass, I pulled him closer, longing to feel his cock against mine again. Fire sparked instantly, and I was moaning into his mouth, hips thrusting upward into his, desperate for more.

"Heero," he groaned, mouth moving from lips to neck. His hand pulled on the collar of my tee shirt, shifting it away and his lips fastened on my collarbone. My body arched up to meet his lips, and I felt him smiling on my skin.

I released my grip on his ass with one hand, let the other span out, and keep his grinding rhythm hard, deep, and close. His shirt had pulled free from his pants, and I slid my hand up his side and ran fingers along his shoulder blades. His teeth raked furrows up to my shoulder; my nails raked shallow scratches on his back. I sought his mouth with mine, wanting to taste him, wanting the feel of his tongue in my mouth.

The phone sounded shrill and sharp, abrasive as sandpaper along nerves. We jerked apart, still clutched together; I stared up at Duo, and he down at me, the both of us panting. The answering machine kicked on with the first ring, and a male voice filled the room.

"Hey Duo, it's me," the voice was nervous, but the tone friendly, hopeful. "You said to give you a call if I wanted to meet up for coffee or something, and—"

Duo's head jerked to look at the answering machine, then down at me. Something flashed in his eyes, and he frowned. He was on his feet in the next moment, jumping the couch and snatching up the phone before I had caught my breath.

"Hey JT!" Duo was saying into the phone. "Sorry 'bout that. My roommate uses the machine to screen out those annoying sales calls."

I sat up slowly, straightened the collar of my shirt, and peered over the couch, watching Duo's back, and wondering what the hell had just happened.

"That sounds like a great plan, man. I've never been there, but know where it is," he was telling _JT_ through the phone. Duo was keeping his back to me, one hand holding the receiver to his ear, and the other working fingers through his bangs. "I'll meet you there in fifteen." I rose to my feet as I heard the quick goodbye, arms crossing in front of my stomach. He was moving, turning from the phone, and heading swiftly for the front door.

"Duo?" I asked softly.

"Uh…" His hand on the door, Duo didn't look at me, couldn't look my way. He sighed softly, and his forehead met the door. "Sorry, Heero. I… I gotta go." He jerked the door opened and raced out, slamming it closed behind him.

I stared at the door for over a minute, waiting for it to open again. For Duo to return and continue where we were before the call. When nothing happened, I slowly eased down to sit on the edge of the couch, and turned to watch the vid screen. The bright neon letters continued to flash, informing me that the game was indeed, over.

As if I needed some 124-byte piece of graphics to tell me what I already knew.

* * *

I can honestly say I didn't wait up for Duo to come home; I didn't even wake up when he came in. Whether it was from some perverse sort of self-preservation or plain exhaustion, I slept through the night, woke minutes prior to the alarm, rose, dressed, and went for my run.

There was no hint of Duo emerging from his room when I returned, though I wasn't expecting there to be. But, when I was finished with my shower and headed cross the hall to my room, Duo's door opened, and he passed me in the hall, giving a semi cheerful 'good morning' in passing. I turned to watch him enter the bathroom, eyes narrowing.

He stuck his head out the door, caught sight of me still standing there, and grinned. "Don't bother making anything for me this morning," he said with that same cheerfulness _never_ seen on Duo at that hour of the morning. "I'll be meeting up with JT for coffee and such." He ducked back into the bathroom, and a minute later, I heard water hitting the shower wall.

"Who the hell is JT?" I asked the empty hall, the towel I'd been using to dry my hair hanging limply from my hand.

* * *

Movies, beer, and pizza had long been a Friday night ritual. It had been one even before Duo and I moved in together, starting just after Duo moved back to Earth and before he joined the Preventers. Unless it had to do with work, plans made to break the tradition usually included the both of us – like last week's outing to the club for drinks and distraction.

That Friday night, I sat alone, watching some strange sci-fi classic that almost made sense the more beers I drank. Two boxes of pizza – one cheese and mushroom, the other a meaty works – had long gone cold, grease from the cheese and meat congealing in the dips and hollows of the pizza landscape.

I glanced at the clock as it neared midnight, and leaned forward to grab the remote. The vid screen went black, and a blue light on the disc player blinked at me, letting me know the movie still played. I watched it blink, counted each one until it went red and switched off automatically. Glancing at the clock again, I downed the last of my beer.

Rising to my feet, I closed each of the boxes, and briefly debated storing them for later eating. They had sat out for hours, and I knew the answer without giving it much thought. I carried both boxes and the six-pack of empty bottles to the trash bin, and returned to the apartment. Switching off lights, locking the door, and setting the alarms used up five minutes. Brushing my teeth, washing my face, and dressing for bed used up another five.

No more chances for stalling; Duo still hadn't come home.

* * *

My Saturday morning alarm rang just loud enough to bring me to consciousness, and I shut it off quickly. Swinging legs out of bed, I wished I had kept to my three-beer maximum. My mouth felt like I'd been swallowing elephant piss. I was not quite hung-over, but I sure knew his cousin.

A deep breath, and I was up and moving. Muscles remembered even when the mind couldn't be bothered. Sleep shorts were dropped in the laundry basket, running shorts were pulled up over briefs, and a tank top was pulled over my head. A quick stop in the bathroom, a longer stop in the kitchen to re-hydrate, and I was ready.

Early morning stretches were kept simple but effective. Basic arm, back and leg stretches to pull the muscle without strain, to flush the muscle with oxygen, and open sleeping pores. Arm behind my head, and the opposite hand clasping the elbow, I was bent over to the side when the door opened. I straightened slowly, and frowned watching Duo fight his key free of the lock. He muttered a curse, and pulled it free, but dropped the set and nearly toppled over bending down to pick them up again.

I snorted, and went back to my stretches. Seems I wasn't the only one who had one too many the night before. Briefly, I wondered if he'd attempted to drive himself home, if he'd gotten a ride or called a cab. I wondered at the stab of pain in why he hadn't called me. In the early days, just after Duo settled dirt side, he had frequented the clubs and nightlife on a regular basis. To lose himself in the crowd and noise, he had told me then, to forget for a moment on who he was and what he'd done. And when he knew he'd drink too much, he always called me for a ride. Always.

It made me wonder why he was drinking again.

A touch pulled me from my musings, and stopped the hamstring stretch I was in the middle of doing. Duo was standing behind me, his eyes wide and bright, his tongue licking at his bottom lip, and his hand caressing the span of skin showing where my shirt had pulled away from my shorts.

"You look fucking amazing doing that," Duo said in a low voice, his gaze never rising above my waist.

My eyes narrowed, and I shook his hand off and turned back to the wall, continuing my stretches. Duo was chuckling softly behind me, but the sound was moving, and I could see from the corner of my eye that he was now propped up against the wall next to me.

"Hell, Heero. You're fucking amazing just breathing." He was whispering now, leaning close. I could smell the alcohol on his breath, and the residue of cigarette smoke clinging to his clothes and hair.

"And you're drunk," I told him, switching legs.

Duo chuckled again, and his hand was touching my shoulder, running a path down my back, stopping to rest on the cheek of my ass. "And you're hot as fuck," he whispered loudly.

I grabbed his wrist, ready to shove his hand away, and Duo was pressing forward, leaning into me, and pushing his face into mine. His mouth was hot, his breath vile, and his lips wet; the kiss was sloppy and badly aimed. I used the arm I still held, and in one fluid movement, had it twisted up behind his back, and his face pressed to the wall.

"Don't ever fucking touch me when you're drunk again," I told him harshly. I let him go, and stood shaking with a rage I couldn't explain.

"Ah Heero, don't be that way," Duo mumbled into the wall, turning his head to look at me. He was smirking at me, his hand reaching for me, and I stepped back quickly.

"Go sleep it off, Duo," I told him, and rushed out the door.

Five days ago, I thought I knew what pain was. I was wrong, and had the feeling I was going to find out how much it was going to hurt. There had been a time I had the ability to dismiss such sentiment, to negate emotions and bury them with work, override their synapses code with mission specs and logic routines. Those days were long gone, but with each footfall of my run, I dusted off rusty techniques, and began to override and reroute thought parameters, reinforced emotion controls, and erected a bunker around my already bruised heart.

/end part one

* * *


	2. Part 2: Back 2 Good

Title: Conjunctive Point

Pairing: Heero/Duo

Theme: Time of Day – noon

Rating: PG-13

Warning: BL, Angst, Language

Disclaimer: I own neither Gundam Wing, or Matchbox 20s' song title

Notes: Written for the Summer 08, Stages of Love (an LJ community), this is the second of five stories for this theme.

* * *

**Back 2 Good**

Once upon a time, there lived five fifteen year old boys who, with the help of a few friends and priceless, now _extinct_ weapons of mass destruction, fought a couple of wars, and won a peace that still holds nearly six years later. As time and life moved on, as it tends to do, so did those five boys.

Sometimes late at night, or when on an assignment that does not require one hundred percent of my focus, I thought about us, as we were then, and on how we were now. How much we had changed – how little we had changed.

After the Barton event, it seemed too easy to slip into a Preventers role. I knew Wufei felt the same since we had discussed it once a short time after I became an agent. The Preventers organization was familiar, regimented, and challenging. The job as a field agent offered enough excitement to take the edge off of instincts and a lifetime of training. It fed my need to analyze, to plan, and see the plan reach fruition. It allowed the balm of peace to soothe and throttle back the need to take over to maintain the status quo.

Duo's reasons for becoming an agent had more to do with a need for purpose, and to be closer to his friends, than his oft hyped 'legal to blow shit up' rhetoric. He had never confirmed it in so many words, but over the years, I'd come to the conclusion he needed to be necessary, needed to feel that what he did mattered. Moving scrap and playing house left too many holes and too much time on his hands.

But, it was the enigma of why Trowa joined up that had me puzzling through thoughts on those late nights, during the more mundane assignments. I knew that the Commander had been after him for years before he finally signed on, and none of us believed he ever would; it had been common knowledge, then, that both he and Quatre were together. He was the latest of The Five to join, and there was no doubt he would be the last. One night shortly after Trowa had moved from L4 (and Quatre's house), while he still lived in the Preventer's singles dormitory waiting for the right place to move into, Duo had asked him why he'd left 'the good life'. The three of us were at our place, Duo's and my apartment, and had all been drinking steadily by then. I knew that later I'd be helping Duo find his bed, or wind up tossing a blanket over him and leave him to sleep on the living room rug. But at that moment, I remembered holding my breath, watching Trowa find an answer to Duo's question.

'To be who **I **am,' had been his answer. I didn't quite understand it then, and I knew Duo hadn't, since he'd fallen asleep by the time Trowa replied.

Quatre continued to live and work on L4, though he often had dealings on Earth, and made frequent visits; that he stayed with Trowa during those visits went without saying. Whatever had happened between those two hadn't affected how they felt toward one another; it was obvious to everyone in any room they occupied.

The Five had moved on with their lives, became adults and responsible members of society complete with taxes and bills, and the mundane day-to-day. Remaining friends hadn't been hard, but keeping in contact sometimes was, even for those of us living in the same city, those of us who worked together. So, whenever there was the remote possibility for more than a couple of us to meet, we did as often as possible. Mostly over lunch, to make it easier for everyone involved.

One such occasion came up about a week after the 'Drunken Duo' incident (as I'd taken to calling it). Quatre dropped in to visit, and it happened that both Wufei and I were available for lunch; Quatre let us know that Trowa would be joining us as soon as he finished compiling statistic figures needed for a one o'clock meeting. Duo hadn't been found, and his mobile phone had been left on his desk.

Since the 'incident', it had become par for the course for Duo to avoid having lunch with me.

The three of us, Wufei, Quatre, and I, entered the ground floor cafeteria and went our separate ways, with the understanding that the first one out was to find a table. At the cashier stand, I spied Quatre debating his meal choice at the entrée queue, and Wufei was standing at the deli counter waiting for his usual. When eating in the cafeteria, I usually limit myself to the salad bar with a bottle of water. Duo used to joke that I was the official table finder, and had them mapped out for strategic and logical locations, meeting each of The Five's requirements.

I found an empty, relatively clean table at the back of the cafeteria, close to the rear exit, but far enough from the waste disposal stand to avoid noise and smell. Quatre wasn't far behind me, setting his tray down with an amused expression.

"Wufei's flirting again," he stated, and we shared a knowing grin.

Just as I limited myself to salads, Wufei chose sandwiches from the café deli. We decided he chose them because of the woman who worked behind the deli counter. Since she was at least old enough to be his mother, it was unlikely Wufei _really_ flirted with her. But, there was no denying the connection between them. He told us once that she had grown up on L5, but had migrated to Earth after she married. I suspected there was more to it than a common background; that the two engaged in highly animated conversations in L5 Mandarin, gaining volume the more they spoke, led me to believe she had taken on a surrogate older family member role, and Wufei honored it as much as he fought it.

After taking a tentative taste of his meal, Quatre set his fork down, and looked at me. "Are you going to tell me what's going on with you and Duo?" Quatre asked softly.

My own fork clutched in my hand, I glared at him. "Going on with Duo and I?" I repeated. "Nothing."

Quatre sighed loudly, and picked at his food. "From what Trowa has been telling me, you two have been acting like barely civil strangers."

No one else needed to become involved in this. Especially our friends. This _situation_ was one that I could handle. "We are friends. Nothing has changed." I knew my tone was clipped, and I bent to my salad, hoping to end the discussion.

"But, you want more." Quatre's voice was more air than sound, and I froze for a moment only. Raising my eyes to meet his gaze, I gave him a tight nod. He smiled gently at me, and continued to pick through his entrée. "It seems to me that Duo is still confused about what he wants."

I nodded in agreement, but didn't say anything.

"A little more time, and he'll know, Heero." He paused in his perusal of his meal, and touched my wrist. "It will work out."

Making a noncommittal noise, I could only hope what he said was true.

By the time Wufei joined us, I was half-finished with my lunch, and Quatre was talking about hopeful plans for a long weekend within the next couple of weeks. Though he hadn't mentioned his name, I knew Trowa would be part of those plans. Wufei sat on the bench seat beside me, removing his lunch plate holding his sandwich with its side of Cantonese salad and a pickle, and a carton of milk from his tray, listening to Quatre finish up the tentative itinerary.

"I've heard of that resort island," Wufei commented, stacking his tray on top Quatre's. "They guaranty privacy for the fees they charge." He inspected his sandwich, and took a bite.

"Yes!" Quatre agreed excitedly. "And the list of amenities is truly remarkable."

Wufei snorted and opened his mouth only to shut it abruptly. "There's Maxwell."

I looked up and followed the direction of his gaze. Duo was sitting in one of the booths that aligned the inner wall – one of the booths I had deemed to constricting, and refused to use. Across the table from him sat the pretty, petite, and very blonde receptionist to the medical wing on the fourth floor. As I watched, she laughed at something he'd said, and ducked her head, the blush on her cheeks as clear as if I were sitting beside Duo. His hand rose from where it rested on the table to her brow, and he brushed the hair that had fallen forward, going so far as to tuck it behind her ear. His fingers stroked the edge of her ear, and the tips grazed the line of her jaw before dropping back to the tabletop.

"Oh Duo," Quatre whispered, and I tore my eyes from the booth to look at him. Quatre was watching me with stricken eyes, a hand clenched into a fist held at chest level. I shot a glance in Wufei's direction, wondering at his sudden silence; he was studiously separating the ingredients to his salad with his chopsticks, not willing to meet my gaze.

Standing abruptly, I gripped the sides of my tray tightly. "I have a phone call to make," I mumbled, and stepped away from the table. In my hurry to leave, I believe I threw away the tray, plate, and utensils.

In the hallway outside the elevator doors, I ran into Trowa. He turned to watch me leave, even as I cut off any question he might have made with a jerking arm motion. Around the corner from the elevators was the doorway to the stairs, and I flung it open with enough force to dent the wall.

Taking the stairs two at a time, I ran. My heart pounded and blood roared through my veins. By the time I reached the roof, spots of grey swam at the corners of my vision, but I was able to key the access code and gained the top of the building. Fifteen floors up wasn't enough to kill me, and the pain of my run wasn't enough to drown out the ache that drove me from the cafeteria.

Thirty minutes later, I was still standing at the roof's edge, clutching at the safety rail, and watching unseen the traffic below, both pedestrian and vehicle. Breathing and heart rate returned to normal, and I kept pushing thoughts on what I was going to do next from my mind. Duo was my friend first and foremost. If he had found someone to be happy with, to enjoy his time with, then I should be happy for him. Right?

There were no answers to the questions that refused to be stifled. When I returned to the office I shared with Wufei, he was suspiciously busy, engaged with work I knew we didn't have. More consideration on his part than luck, Quatre stayed away for the rest of his visit earthside.

For the first time since the best weekend of my life, I deliberately avoided home, choosing instead to spend time at the Preventer gym. With knuckles wrapped in tape, I pounded on the gym's heavy bag, using body-powered arm and shoulder strength. In minutes, I was drenched, and working to control my breathing. Sweat flew from my face with each punch; my hair was matted flat, and sweat soaked through my tank, staining the fabric in great, elongated circles under my arms, at my chest and back. Even my shorts weren't exempt.

I didn't stop until the gym supervisor approached, held the bag from the opposite side, and attracted my attention to my now bloody hands. Without a word, he led me away to his office, and doctored my bruised and split knuckles, tossing two small cold packs on the desk where I sat.

"I won't report this," he told me. "But the next time you feel the need to damage something, find another gym. Hell, go find a bar on SouthSide and give 'em my best."

I shot him a glance, strapping the packs over the tops of my hands, feeling the pain now. "I won't harm civilians on purpose," I told him.

He shrugged and dropped into his seat. "But you'll kill yourself for the wanting." His eyes were studying me, shrewd and wise with age and experience. I had to look away. "Woman troubles the worst kind of hurt," he finally said, not unkindly.

I didn't bother to correct his assumption, but finished wrapping my hands. "I can promise I won't be doing this again." And stood, ending the conversation.

My hand was on the doorknob when he spoke again. And then, it was simply to wish me 'luck'. I knew that I'd need it.

It was late by the time I'd showered, and redressed. Not wanting to return to the apartment just yet, I pointed my car northward and drove. An hour later, dinner was at a small, dockside bistro up the river, and eating alfresco at a tiny table on the deck suit my mood. Watching the river roll by, and watercraft of most every type motor up, or down, soothe the edges of an anger I wasn't ready to acknowledge.

It was time to go home.

* * *

It began not so much as a plan of action, but a need to have life return to normal. Maybe I wasn't the one Duo wanted, despite words whispered in a voice groggy and rough, half-asleep. No matter who he was with – now – he was still my friend and housemate. If he wanted to forget that weekend, I was going to do my best to accommodate that.

The next morning, I started implementing my quasi-plan immediately by waiting for Duo to arrive at work by his desk. I ignored his hesitation when he spotted me, and continued the conversation with Trowa, giving him time to shed his jacket, sit at his desk and boot up his PC. Watching him without watching, I saw he kept shooting little glances my way.

At last, I turned with a casualness belying jittery nervous, I flourished a thin rectangle of paper. "I've got a two-for-one coupon to Razzoli's."

Duo's eyes lit up, and he grinned. "So, lunch is on you today?"

Score! I nodded slowly, casting a look back at Trowa. "If you both can make it today. If not, it's good for a couple more weeks."

"We haven't been assigned anything pressing," Trowa confirmed.

"Alright!" Duo nearly shouted, and I agreed.

"Meet you out front at eleven-thirty?" I asked, rising and making my way to the door.

"Right," Duo confirmed. "Eleven-thirty." His grin faded quickly, and he was frowning at me. "What the fuck happened to your hand?" He was getting to his feet, and I needed to get out of there.

Shoving both into my jacket pockets, I edged to the door. "A round too many with the punching bag," I replied, and slipped out of their office. Shit! I'd forgotten busted and swollen knuckles would attract attention.

"Heero?" Duo was standing in the middle of the hallway, staring after me.

"Eleven-thirty," I said, and turned my back on him, knowing he'd bring it up later.

Lunch was a successful diversion; it helped that the eatery made the best pizza in possibly everywhere outside of Italy. The only mar had been when Trowa went outside to answer a call from Quatre, while Wufei left to pick up drink refills. Duo sobered immediately and grabbed both of my hands in his. He frowned at them, turning them over, and brushed a gentle finger across the broken skin.

"You were late getting in last night," he said in a low voice.

I tried to pull my hands away, but Duo held on tighter. "I went for a drive."

He squeezed them and let them go suddenly, shifting on his seat, and picking up the scrap of a pizza slice off his plate. "Just… call next time, k?"

"You were… worried?" I asked, sure my expression was imitating a guppy.

Snorting softly, Duo tossed the crust rind back onto his plate. "It's not exactly something you do all the time, and I knew you weren't working…"

That confession of sorts oddly created a center of warmth, and seemed to affirm the direction my plans were going.

* * *

I tackled the next step on my list that Thursday, knowing it couldn't wait any longer. After dinner and dishes were done, I brought out my laptop, and sat on the other side of the couch from Duo, barely paying attention to the weekly program he tried to catch when it wasn't a rerun. Pulling up a well-used site, I flipped to the available queue, and turned the screen in Duo's direction.

"What do you feel like watching tomorrow?" I asked casually.

Duo twitched, but turned from the vidscreen, and looked over the list presented. His eyes rose to meet mine and dropped back to the list. "I don't know, Heero. I was sort of thinking about going out."

Immediately pulling the laptop back, I nodded once. "Great. I haven't been down to Bally's in awhile. Mind if I tag along?" He couldn't refuse me; wouldn't refuse me.

"Ah…" he stalled, staring at me for a moment before looking away again. "Sure, I, uh, don't mind. It should be fun."

I hid the smile wanting to start, and cancelled the beginning of the vid disc order.

* * *

There had been a time when I was a more frequent visitor to Bally's. It was always to accompany Duo, or Trowa, or both, and never on my own. I knew Duo went to the nightclub on his own, and I suspected Trowa did as well, maybe even joining Duo there. Bally's was more than a dance club, more than a bar. Often live performances were given, and while the dance floor took up most of the building's square footage, the sound diminishers placed around the dance floor allowed conversations to be heard at either of the two bars, and the tables surrounding the edge of the dance floor as well as those up on the overhead loft.

Duo headed for the bar, and I found us a table close enough to the action to use as a distraction if needed, but far enough away not to distract. By the time Duo was making his way through the shifting crowd, I'd already turned down two requests to dance, and one to 'find someplace more comfortable'. There's only one I'd agree to follow that suggestion.

"They're out of the Dunbarden, so I got you that stuff from Hokkaidō you like," Duo said, setting the glass down in front of me. He stood by his stool a moment, taking a drink from the long neck bottle, looking over its sides out to the floor.

"Thanks," I said, and picked up the glass. Tall as a pilsner, and cold as a flagpole in January, the over-ripened rice grain beer went down fast.

"There's supposed to be a live band starting at ten." Duo gestured to the recessed stage, darkened for the moment, and locked behind a gate of wire mesh.

My eyes tracked the stage, and the shadowy figures behind the gate. The place would liven up even more by then. Sliding a glance his way, I noticed Duo was playing with his bottle, not quite sitting yet, watching the dancers on the floor. The song came to an end, and a new one blended into the final notes.

"Want to dance?" I asked, not looking at him. It wasn't common for me to do the asking, but every time we'd ever come, Duo and I had danced together.

"Nah, not right now," Duo said in a hurry. He took another drink, and tilted the bottle to the side, gauging the amount left.

I nodded, and started to take my own drink, only to have a long, tall redhead catch my arm, leaning onto my side.

"Hey handsome," she nearly purred. "Want to dance?" Her well-trimmed brow arched, and her lips slipped up into a wide smile, showing the tip of her tongue between twin rows of perfect, white-bleached teeth.

"I don't think so," I told her softly. "I'm going to sit this one out." She pouted cutely, and I gave her a short smile. "Maybe later," I hedged, and hoped I'd have an excuse then. She was cute, but she still wasn't the one I wanted to dance with.

"How about you?" She tossed out across the table, leaning on her elbows, the muscles of her upper arms squeezing gently against her breasts, making them more prominent.

Duo's eyes were watching the display, and a crooked grin surfaced as his eyes rose slowly to her face. "Sure," he drawled, and slid from his stool. "Hold the fort, Heero?" he asked without looking my way, already holding the girl's arm, and leading out onto the dance floor.

I left when the band was taking the stage and being introduced to the crowd. After 'holding the fort' through three dances, I gave in and accepted a dance with a girl who looked college-aged, and still smelled nice, though I'd seen her on the dance floor several times already. We danced for a song or maybe three – it was one of those raging techno numbers that lasted for two minutes, sometimes they went on for fifteen to twenty minutes, and they usually blended together so you didn't know when one song ended, and the other began.

The girl, Meloney, was nice, and seemed intelligent. I offered to buy her a drink, and she asked for water; I wasn't sure if she was being circumspect, since I was unknown to her, or if she usually drank water. She had followed me to the bar, and we found a place to stand and talk for a few minutes.

On the floor, the lights were dimmed, and the music became a pulsing, thick beat, reverberating off the walls, the ceiling, and the floor. Strobes started to flash keyed into the vocals, and the dance floor became a writhing mass of bodies, a clothed orgy in flashes of blue, red, purple, and white.

Meloney pulled on my arm, wanting me to join her, and I let her tug me out onto the floor, not really watching her, but looking for Duo. The floor was too crowded to do more than undulate to the pulsing rhythm; Meloney was pressed firmly to me, her chest flattened to mine. Her eyes were closed, and she was mouthing the raunchy lyrics. I had the idea she was wishing I was someone else, too.

One moment, I thought I might just be enjoying myself with someone who was enjoyable, and the next, the lie it was brought me up short and gasping. In a heartbeat, I stopped moving, nearly causing the couple behind me to topple, and Meloney opened her eyes, staring wide-eyed up at me. I found Duo. He was plastered chest to back against some twink, a thin waif of a boy, with Duo's arms wrapped firmly around the boy's waist, and one hand definitely making moves of its own. The boy's head lay back on Duo's shoulder, his face turned up, and the two were kissing, their bodies keeping with the beat of the music and the crowd around them.

I broke away from Meloney, backing up, and forcing my way off the floor. "I'm sorry," I called to her, and nearly ran for the bathrooms.

It took five minutes of dry heaving into the toilet, and another five of continually splashing cold water on my face for any sort of calm to return. Other bathroom patrons came and went, mostly ignoring me after the first look. It would have been amusing if it hadn't been achingly sad – I was labeled as having 'a bad trip'.

Leaving the men's room, I saw Meloney waiting by the payphone, a white bar towel and a glass of water in her hands. She gave me a soft smile, and her eyes told me she knew, at least on some level, what had happened. She handed me the towel first, and I found it coolly damp, and used it on my face, the back of my neck and on my chest where my shirt was unbuttoned.

"Thank you," I told her, my voice rough and scratchy.

"Anytime." And she handed me the glass, taking back the towel. Her smile was sad, and her eyes even more so. "I've been there, and I know the feeling."

Closing my eyes against her too knowing look, I finished off the water, and held the cool glass against a cheek. "Does it ever go away?" I asked in a whisper.

Her hand was on my arm, stroking the sleeve of my shirt. "Yes, in time." I opened my eyes to see her mouth twist wryly. "I haven't reached that point yet, but I'm working on it." She got the laugh she was looking for, and we stood staring at one another for a moment.

Down the hall, the floor lights brightened, and the club manager was on the microphone introducing the live band. I glanced down that way, listening to the opening strands of a lone electric guitar, and turned back to Meloney.

"I can't stay," I announced. "I… it's just…" And I shut up, pressing my lips together.

But she was nodding, taking the glass from my hand and setting both the glass and towel on the slight ledge lining the wall behind her. "Let's go. My car's around back."

It took another long look down the hall, but I nodded, agreeing to let her drive me home, to take me away from there.

The ride to my apartment was in silence. I had no desire for conversation, and even if I had, I had no idea what to say. If she hadn't been so nice, and sympathetic without pity, I would be in a taxi or walking, despite the cold.

"Does he know?" Meloney asked, making the last turn onto the apartment building street, and slowing to turn into the parking lot I indicated.

"Yes… no." I sighed and glared out the window. "I thought he did, but… I don't know any more."

"You maybe should tell him," she told me softly, finding an empty slot, and putting her car in park. She turned to me, leaving the engine still running. "He might think you might, but without confirmation, there will be no growth or chance for change in the way things are."

I turned away from her earnest expression and rubbed at the sudden pain between my eyes. "He doesn't want things to change between us. He's made that clear, at least."

Her hand was on my arm again. "I truly am sorry, Heero." And then she was digging into her purse, pulling out a small notepad and a pen. "I'm going to give you my number," she said, writing on the notepad, "I know you're not looking for anyone, and God knows I'm not." She shot a quick smile in my direction. "But, if you ever need to talk, or just get out for a cup of coffee, call me."

"Thank you." I took her number, folded it, and put it away in my pocket, knowing I'd keep it, and maybe, one day use it. I don't have someone I could call a friend who wasn't already friends with my other friends. "I will call you," I told her, and opened the door. "Thank you," I said again, and left before I could say anything more.

* * *

I'd like to say that Duo expressed concern for my disappearance from the club, but I text messaged him from my phone once I got inside. Whatever else happened between us, I wasn't about to resort to playing games.

Putting the incident at the club behind me wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I just didn't think about it, at least, not one particular part of it. Over the weekend, I wound up calling Meloney, and making plans to meet her that Saturday night after a meeting she said she couldn't cancel.

We didn't talk about mutual 'lost loves', but we exchanged abbreviated work stories, and she spoke of family living somewhere in a distant city. After a couple of hours over too many cups of coffee and a shared Danish, I left feeling better than I had in weeks.

Work returned to more of a 'normal' routine. Not every day found Duo and I eating lunch together, but it happened enough that I could believe things were normal. Duo made lunch during Quatre's next visit, and our blond friend seemed satisfied things were good between Duo and I, that whatever had happened last time, was a thing of the past.

As the first week past into the second week, life around the apartment gave the impression of being normal. But inside, I felt like an actor on a stage of my life, acting as I would have a month or two ago. I never spoke about the night of the club, never brought up our shared weekend, and never invited myself to go along with Duo when he went out again. And Duo kept his peace along those subjects as well. Though, he had started sticking around the apartment more, and switching Saturdays out, going back to our traditional movie night Fridays, and vidgame play remained strictly vidgame play.

Most of the nights Duo went out, he was home before morning, and he never stayed out late on work nights. I tried not to pay attention to his coming and going, how late (or early in the morning) he was out until. In this world of not-seeing, a month slipped by, and Spring glided into Summer.

Meloney let me know on a Tuesday that she would be leaving that Friday for three months as part of a grad student internship. I almost panicked; if she left, who would I talk to about Duo? Not that I ever said much, not after the night at the club. But, I had the option to, if I wanted. Only, I didn't have to with Meloney. She seemed to _know_ what I was going through, and even likened it to a grieving process. It seemed inefficient to me to grieve for a relationship that had never happened, for something that was never mine. But, whatever she thought, she seemed to be recovering from her own melancholy, her own heartbreak.

It was midmorning a week later when Trowa walked through our office door, and cleared his throat for my attention. I nodded in brief acknowledgement, finished keying an entry, and turned back to Trowa.

"Duo say anything about not coming in today?" he asked, his eyes holding my own in a steady gaze.

I frowned and shook my head. "He didn't mention anything to me, though…" I glanced up at the clock, noting the time. "He went out last night after dinner."

"Oh." Trowa shifted, and from the corner of my eye, I saw that Wufei had stopped working to watch me. "I've called his cell and your home land line. He's not picking up on either."

Throttling down the spike of fear, I reached for my cell. "He might have turned it off, or was in the shower." I was grasping at straws, but it was all I had. The apartment number first, and when the machine picked up, I left a message for Duo to call ASAP, or pick up if he were there. I waited a full minute, speaking every couple of seconds to give him time to reach the phone if he were there.

Wufei came around his desk to stand by mine, and I gave him a look, and disconnected the call. With fingers feeling suddenly too large for the buttons, I queued Duo's cell number up, and hit the dial. It rang twice before it was answered. A near breathless "hello?" asked with a voice I didn't recognize.

"Who is this? Where's Duo?" I demanded harshly.

"Ah… who is this?" the voice countered.

"That is none of your business. Give the phone to Duo." Trowa's eyebrows had climbed up to hide in his hair, and Wufei was scowling at me, indignant already by my tone.

"Listen, buddy, I don't know who you _think_ you are, but Duo's indisposed at the moment. I'm not about to—" The voice broke off, and I heard Duo demanding his phone. A slight shuffle sounded, and suddenly Duo was speaking.

"This is Duo."

"Duo," I said forcing my voice to be calm, my tone to contain no inflection. "Trowa has been trying to reach you." And without waiting for him to say anything more, I shoved my cell in Trowa's direction.

"Duo…" Trowa started, but stopped. His eyes darted to me, and then he turned away, stepping closer to Wufei's desk.

I rose and walked without faltering to the door. "I'm going to get something to drink," I lied, and fled. I didn't want to know where Duo was, or what he was doing, why he wasn't at work, or who he had allowed to answer his phone.

* * *

As if it were the start of a new phase, Duo stayed away for the next two nights, but was there for movie night. I almost didn't care. The pizza was cardboard in my mouth, and the beer – well, I stopped drinking it after the first. At least the movies were distracting, and didn't require conversation to fill in the gaps. And romance was nonexistent.

It was during the second movie, near the climax, when Duo's cell rang. He glanced at me before looking at his caller ID. The frown he wore eased some of the irritation that leaped at the interruption. He ignored that call, but five minutes later, his phone chimed with a text message, and after reading it, Duo levered himself up off the couch, and padded back to his room.

When he didn't return by the time the movie ended, I put the pizza away, shut off the disc player, and threw the trash out. He was only down the hall, but so far out of reach.

I went out on my morning run a little later than usual, but Duo's leaving had awakened me, and sleep was elusive for hours afterwards. It was a warm morning, though the ground bore hints of a light rain from the night before. The sun felt good, and the breeze was enough to keep me from getting too hot. Adding another five miles to my run was no hardship. I was in the zone, no thought or errant emotion intruded.

Entering the apartment, I was smiling, fresh from the run, and looking forward to a hot shower. I had thought to head out for the river walk and an afternoon of music by a handful of amateur musicians. Wufei had expressed an interest, and we were going to meet up at about noon.

Duo was awake, up and leaving the kitchen, a mug of coffee in each hand. He was shirtless, wearing a pair of rumpled jeans I recognized from the night before. I froze just inside the door, my smile fading as the good feeling I'd gained leaked away.

"Uh…" Duo stopped to stare at me. "Morning." He glanced down at the cups in his hands, down the hall toward his room, and back to me. "Uh… I really should go."

Nodding, I shut the door behind me, heard his footsteps muted by carpet fade down the hallway, heard his voice and a muffled answer come from behind his bedroom door. Slowly I turned and leaned heavily against the door.

In all our years of living together, Duo had never brought anyone home. Not to stay the night, not even over for dinner. There had been a girl he brought over to introduce me to, but that was just a quick stop to pick up some tools.

I blocked out all sound that might come from Duo's room, and instead, locked myself in the bathroom, stripped and showered, not lingering but making it fast work. Back in my own room, pulling clothes on in automatic fashion, I heard Duo's door open. There was a soft knock on my own door, and I froze, glaring at it.

When the knock came again, a little louder this time, I barked out a response, turning my back and pulling my shirt over my head as it opened.

"Ah, say Heero," Duo's voice came from behind me. I heard the door snick closed, and glanced over my shoulder. Duo was dressed now, but barefooted with his braid needing attention. "Uh, I'm sorry 'bout –" his hand waved vaguely back toward his room. "you know."

I grunted and tucked my shirt into my jeans with deliberate stiffness. "It's your apartment, too."

"Yeah, but, we never… I mean, bringing someone else over…"

"Forget it," I demanded, not wanting to hear more. Jeans up and zipped, I sat and pulled on my sneakers.

Duo sighed, and I knew he wanted me to look at him, to say something more; I just wanted the hell out of there. "You going somewhere?"

I paused in tying laces to look at him. "Yes."

His hand tugged on his shirt and rose to rub absently on the side of his neck. "Anywhere special? Anyone special?"

Snorting softly, I finished tying my shoes and stood up, going to my dresser. "That's none of your business."

"Hey," he said sharply, and I heard him take several steps forward. "I thought we were friends. And in my book, friends share those kinds of things."

For a long moment, I looked at him, took in the details I'd failed to see before. He appeared tired; his eyes bore hints of sleepless nights or too much nightlife. His skin seemed shallow and pale, almost yellowish in tint. He looked used, and not at all like the Duo I knew, the Duo I loved.

"I thought we were friends, too," I whispered, and brushed by him to exit my room without looking back.

* * *

It was too early to go to the music festival, too early to meet up with Wufei. I drove randomly at first, but found myself in familiar territory, and pointed my car in the direction of the coffee house Meloney and I used to meet at. I had become rather a regular, for the barista called out a greeting, and had my 'usual' on the counter before I got there. Paying for the drink, I dropped the change and a little extra in the tip jar.

Taking a seat at one of the far tables, I sipped at my tea, and absorbed the blend. I tried to focus on the current music track playing, lost it in a flash memory of Duo standing in our living room barely dressed with two cups of coffee in his hands.

"Hello?" Meloney's voice sounded from my cell, and I thought I was losing my mind. I had no memory of calling her, no thought of even calling her.

"He brought someone home last night." Now that she was there, I wasn't going to waste the call.

"Heero?" she asked, and I heard her say something as an aside. "Just a minute, Heero. I'm in a bad place and can't hear you." There was a moment of shuffling, the sound of wind blowing through the receiver, and a loud thud, and then Meloney was there. "Okay, so who was home last night?

"Duo. He…" I closed my eyes, and lowered my head, my other hand shielding my face from the rest of the shop. "He brought someone back with him last night. That person stayed… is still there now."

"Did you meet him – or her?" Meloney asked briskly.

"No, but I heard someone in his room. And Duo… Duo was carrying two cups."

"What are you going to do?" Her voice had softened.

I looked out the window and watched a car leave the parking lot, entering the street, and accelerate off. "I don't know," I murmured. "I… I can't go back."

"Is this it, then? Are you calling it quits?" her voice was so soft, I almost hadn't heard her.

"No!" I gripped the phone tightly, and then eased up before the plastic became stressed. "I just, don't want that to happen again."

"Without his commitment, it might. As long as you're living with him." Meloney sighed gently. "We talked about that, Heero."

"Are you saying I should move out?"

"Is that what you want to do?" I could hear her shifting, and then she added, "Sometimes a little distance can bring clarity – not only for you, but for him as well."

"I can't… I don't want to leave." I was barely whispering, and I wasn't sure if she even heard me.

"Heero," her voice was clear and direct, "tell me how you felt, what you experienced when you found Duo at home, when you discovered that he was there with someone else."

The pain was there in a rush, my heart trip firing in sharp, lethal-feeling beats. Blood roared through my veins, drowning out all other sounds, leaving me shaken. "Oh God," I gasped. "I can't… do that."

"Okay," she said gently, "It's going to be okay, Heero. A little distance is what you need. Something temporary, until you can gain some perspective, okay?"

"Distance, yes." Like out in space, alone in the darkness and the stars and the cold. Someplace – _safe_ – I could find my control, someplace to ground myself.

"Good. Let me make a call, and see if I can't find somewhere for you to go tonight." Meloney sounded as if she were smiling.

"Tonight?" I mumbled, my lips were already numb. This was happening.

"I was thinking of loaning you my place. I'm not using it."

"All right," I agreed, and closed my eyes.

"I'll call you back in a few minutes, and let you know where to meet my girlfriend for the spare key." She was already sounding distant.

I might have told her 'goodbye', but I think I closed my phone without doing so. I spent the time between my call to Meloney and her call back to me letting the pain and adrenalin bleed away. Casting away thoughts of Duo, and who his _date_ might have been, what they might have done in the room across from mine, I finished drinking my tea, marking the time, and wondered briefly, what I was going to say to Duo about my upcoming move.

Meloney called back within fifteen minutes, telling me to stay put, that the friend who'd been watching her place and collecting any errant mail would arrive in the next half hour to hand over her keys.

I had a new home, if only for the next few weeks. Temporary or not, I knew that before Meloney returned from her internship, I would either be back at the apartment with Duo, or I would be looking for my own place.

It occurred to me as I waited, that I finally understood in part on why Trowa had left L4 and his lover, why he'd joined the Preventers.

* * *

I won't say the rest of the day was easy, but the wall I'd begun to erect while waiting on Meloney's call was in place by the time I met up with Wufei, and strengthened as the day wore on. Meloney's friend arrived in a rush, key in hand, and a note of instructions given to her. She patted my shoulder and left with a clichéd platitude trailing behind her.

It was between lunch, and after the second music set that I felt able to finally approach the subject with Wufei. "I'm moving out," I told him quietly, watching the boats on the river through my sunglasses.

He had been speaking, telling me about a concert he'd attended earlier in the spring where the saxophonist in the upcoming group had played. His words faltered, and his mouth snapped shut. "You're what?"

I turned my head to look at him, keeping my sunglasses in place. We were sitting on white folding chairs, being rented for the event with all proceeds going to an arts benefit, and I found myself wanting my chair to fold up on me, to hide me from the perceived scorn in Wufei's tone.

"Moving." Looking away, I jerked my shades from my face, and rubbed at my eyes. "It's only temporary – until I can get a handle on what's happening."

"Happening…?" Wufei started to question, but shook his head. "What did Maxwell say about you leaving?"

"He doesn't know yet." I held my head in my hands. "I decided to move this morning after… shit." Standing abruptly, I scanned the audience before looking down at Wufei. "I can't talk about this any more." I left as the next group was making their way onto the platform.

"Heero," Wufei called out to me a moment later. His hand gripped my shoulder, and I slowed to a stop. "Do you need any help in the move?"

Thinking about what I would need to move, I shook my head. "I'm only packing my clothes, immediate need things. A duffel and a couple of boxes should be all."

"Okay," he was saying slowly, "Do you need me to be there when you talk to Max—Duo?"

I clasped his arm, and squeezed it gently. I wished I dared have him there with me. But, if I were repair things with Duo, I needed to let him know where I stood, and why. 'Ganging up' on him or putting our friends in the position of making a choice was not going to help.

"No, I can take care of it myself." I gave him a brief smile, and put my sunglasses back on. "I need to talk to Duo about more than the move."

Wufei nodded and followed me to my car, waited until I'd unlocked and opened the door. "Call me if you need to talk, Heero. I don't need to hear about the drama, but I am there if you need me to be."

"I will," I told him. "Thank you. It means a lot to me."

He snorted, and looked back toward the way we'd come. "Maxwell isn't… stable." His head snapped around, and I could see his eyes widen. "I don't mean he's crazy, more that he's …"

"I know what you mean," I interrupted. He could say nothing new about Duo that I didn't already know, or hadn't thought of already. "I'll see you Monday," I told him, and slid into the car, and closed the door.

* * *

Duo – did not take my proposal well. He argued, told me he wouldn't let me leave, made ridiculous promises, even threatened to handcuff me to my bed, and in the end, he wound up in his room, turning his stereo up loud while I packed.

I made dinner that night, a light stir-fry, knowing it was one of Duo's favorites, knowing it might be the last time. By the time I was serving it on plates, Duo came out of his room, sat in his usual seat, and glared at me.

"I don't understand why you think you need to leave, Heero," he told me, accepting the plate I handed him. "We've never had a problem before, and I've already told you, I'm not going to be bringing anybody home again."

I paused to look at him before taking my own seat. His _friend_ hadn't been there when I returned, and if anything, Duo looked worst than he had that morning. "_We_ haven't had a problem," I said quietly, mixing a little rice and bringing it to my mouth. He seemed to relax at my words, and began to eat. Good. It meant that maybe he would listen, and not close himself off from me.

"I have been having a problem," I added after another bite. "And unless something changes, I don't think I can handle the results."

"What…" Duo's voice croaked. He dropped his chopsticks, drank from his glass and tried again. "Problems? Changes?" His hand reached for mine, just a touch and a retreat. "What's going on Heero? I don't understand."

With a sigh, I pushed my plate away; I wasn't hungry anyway. "That… weekend," I shot a look at him, and his eyes dropped to his plate, but he gave me a tight nod, "I realized that I… loved you. Loved you as more than a friend." His head jerked up, and his mouth opened. I rushed ahead, delaying anything he might say. "I know you don't – didn't feel the same, and I'm not asking you to. At least, I'm trying to not ask you to." I couldn't sit there any more, and stood, picking up my plate. "But, I can't stay here and watch you with others, I can't…" And I fled to the kitchen, hoping he wouldn't ask me for more. I'd given him all I could.

Duo was standing in the kitchen doorway when I turned from rinsing my plate. He looked lost, and I gripped my own elbows to keep from reaching for him. Sighing, he looked away, and slumped against the kitchen wall.

"I can't… feel the way you do." His lips pressed together into a tight line. "But I don't want you to leave, either."

I stayed silent, not trusting myself not to say something I couldn't retract. But, I watched him. His throat worked, and he brought his arms up to cross over his stomach. Protection, physical and emotional, I knew. He laughed a short, gruff sound, and pinned a look on me.

"I'm a selfish son-of-a-bitch, Heero. I want you here, but I can't be who you want me to be…" He shook his head, and studied the tiled floor. "It's not fair to you."

"No," I agreed, and backed up to the counter. "No, it's not," I said stronger.

He began to breath hard, his chest rising and falling in rapid succession. With an oath, he flung himself out of his slump, turned his back to me, and punched his fist into the wall. He stayed there, shoulders shaking slightly under his shirt.

"It's only temporary, right?" he asked the wall, his voice broken and rough.

"Yes," I said softly, fingernails digging into the flesh of my arms. "A couple weeks, a month. Some time to gain some perspective."

Duo took a deep shuttering breath. "I guess I can live with that. I'll still see you at work, and we can still get together, right?"

"Yes." My hands fell to my sides, and I took a step forward. "Nothing's changed, Duo. I mean nothing in that way."

"Do you need some help with stuff?" Duo asked, still facing the wall.

"No, I've got it." I needed to get going, to settle into Meloney's apartment, and not give myself any more time to think. "I've left the address on the pad by the phone, and I'll still have my cell."

Duo nodded, but didn't turn, didn't speak.

I left the kitchen and went down the hall to my room. I bought out the two boxes I'd packed earlier, carried them down to my car and put them in the trunk. Duo hadn't come out when I came back upstairs, and I went back to my room, shouldered the duffel, and looked around one more time, making sure I had what I needed.

Back in the living room, I hesitated, wanting to go after Duo, but wanting to give him the space he seemed to need.

"I'm going now," I called out. Duo didn't respond, and I opened the door. "I'll see you on Monday." There still wasn't a reply. With a last look toward the closed kitchen door, I walked out of my apartment, and shut the door behind me.

/end part 2

* * *


	3. Part 3: Man in Motion

Title: Conjunctive Point

Pairing: Heero/Duo

Theme: Time of Day – afternoon

Rating: PG-13

Warning: BL, Angst, Language

Disclaimer: I own neither Gundam Wing, or John Parr's song title

Notes: Written for the Summer 08, Stages of Love (an LJ community), this is the third of five stories for this theme.

* * *

**Man in Motion**

Epiphanies come in all shapes and sizes. Some hold great meaning while others mark a passage of sorts into understanding.

It was the first afternoon I was in Meloney's apartment that I had an _understanding_. Over the years, in many forms of media, I'd heard that sharing a moment with someone special was one of the best feelings a person can have. It had never concerned me before, had never taken more thought about it than to decipher the words. Standing in Meloney's living room before the floor to ceiling twin windows, letting the sunlight shine down over me, I _knew_ that the moment would have been even better had Duo been there with me.

Thinking of him in that moment reminded me of the times he had been there to share other moments, both large and small ones, even if I hadn't recognized them as such, then. Duo was the first one I greeted upon securing Wing, after destroying what was left of the Libra. Duo was there when I bought my first, legal car.

At that moment, more than anything I wanted to turn around, find Duo sitting on Meloney's sofa-sleeper, and pull him up next to me to watch the way the sun reflected prism-like through the beveled glass of the window, to see how it shined on the honey warmed hardwood floors. But, he wasn't there, and probably never would be there to share the sight.

The moment ruined, I turned away, pushing it from my mind. I was alone, and I accepted that. Being alone was far from a new experience; the bite of loneliness, a novel one.

Throughout the night, I _ached_ to return to the apartment, to see Duo again, to sleep in my own bed. I slept little, and neglected my morning run. Instead, I explored what there was of Meloney's apartment, noting the lack of any sort of electronic entertainment, including a basic vidscreen. Though, there was an empty spot on one of the bookshelves, and a handful of music discs filed away in a tasteful disc case. I assumed the music player went with her.

Meloney had warned me that her place was a studio, but not tiny; warned me that it sat at the top of a five-story walk up and that I might have issue with privacy. If I hadn't been in such a daze after arriving, I might have had an issue. The move was only temporary, and I didn't need much in the way of space or extraneous comforts. It was acceptable for my needs.

Keeping my back to the windows, the sun, and the view of the skyline, I picked up my cell phone from the end table where I'd tossed it the night before. I had to force my fingers from the memory button I wanted to press to dial Wufei's number instead. He answered on the first ring, voice clipped without being curt, instantly agreeing to meet me at the Preveners' gym in a half hour, to spar, to spot, to keep me company while I tried to exercise this _need_ from my thoughts.

* * *

For my first call on Monday morning, even though I had expected it, Quatre's call came almost as a surprise. He wanted to know how I was doing, if I needed anything, if I wanted to talk. And then, he wanted to know if I'd spoken with Duo since leaving. My one word answer didn't sit well with him.

"You need to keep in touch with him, Heero," Quatre was telling me, his look through the vidscreen earnest and worried. "Communication is the only way to resolve problems no matter what the issue is."

"We will most likely have lunch together," I informed him, curbing my impatience with the topic.

"But that doesn't give you privacy to _talk_!" He leaned forward, peering into the screen. "You do still want to remain friends with Duo, don't you?"

As hard as I tried not to, I found myself glaring at Quatre. "Of course I do," I snapped.

"Good," Quatre told me quietly, leaning back and smiling softly. He dropped his gaze for a moment, and frowned slightly. "I should let you get back to work—"

"It's always good to hear from you," I responded quickly, reaching for the disconnect button.

"—I wonder if Duo's busy, if he has time to talk?" Quatre pondered, his look becoming internal, as though I were no longer there.

"Leave him alone," I demanded, glaring at him again.

Quatre's eyebrows rose as he focused on me. "Whatever do you mean, Heero?"

I refused to fidget, but from the look Quatre was giving me, I knew my expression was doing some shifting of its own. Peering over my arm at Wufei, I discovered him still pretending not to pay attention to my call. "He doesn't need anyone to harass him about this," I said in a low voice. "He feels badly enough."

His face gentled immediately, and when he spoke, his voice reflected that gentle manner. "Then shouldn't I – as his good friend – call my friend and offer him my unconditional support? An ear if he needs it? A shoulder if he wants it?"

My eyes lowered to stare at a paperclip lodged under the vidphone stand. "As a friend, yes."

"Alright then, Heero," Quatre said in more of his normal voice. I glanced up in time to catch him wiggling his fingers in a goodbye gesture before the screen went black.

Closing my eyes, I released a pent up sigh, and resisted the urge to immediately call Duo and warn him of the imminent inquisition.

"Has our participation in this daytime drama ended?" Wufei drawled from his desk.

"God, I hope so," I groaned, rubbing at a sudden ache between my brows.

"Good," he stated. "We have a team briefing in ten minutes."

An ache of another sort came to life, and I glared at Wufei for the reminder. He was giving me his version of the 'Maxwell grin', and I had to laugh. One day I vowed to catch him on film making that face. Grinning at that thought, I turned back to my computer and brought up the necessary file for the briefing, wondering if Duo would be there.

* * *

It was only a comment overheard in passing, a bit of gossip, but it left me standing frozen in the coffee room, a plastic glass of ice water in hand. Agent Maxwell had been seen 'getting cozy' with that cute new recruit. I knew the 'getting cozy' hadn't happened at lunch, since Duo had joined Wufei and I on the walk to the Chinese place on the corner. The clock showed at half past two. Not even Duo worked that quickly. I dismissed it as being gossip, even if there might have been a grain of truth to it.

But, I couldn't help recalling other overheard comments, half-sly looks directed toward me or my (temporarily) ex-housemate. Innuendo and gossip were not uncommon in the office, mostly harmless flirtation or of a teasing nature. But, the comments were changing, becoming more frequent, personal, and seemed to be focused on Duo's libido. I tried to remember when the change had started, or if it had always been that way, and only my own growing interest in Duo's libido made me more aware. Sitting back at my desk, I attempted to direct my attention on the security log printouts I was supposed to be reviewing; I wondered if Chang would think I was beyond redemption if I'd asked him if he knew.

And, the more aware I became, the more comments and rumors I heard.

Evidence of his philandering wasn't apparent at work. Other than the one cafeteria tete-a-tete, I had not observed him behaving in any other manner but his normal slightly unprofessional one. Certainly, I never found him emerging from the custodian's closet with rumpled clothing, or spotted smudged lipstick on any exposed skin. Those were, then, only the rumors and speculation by those who hadn't shared a bit of Agent Maxwell's libido.

At least, it was only rumors until I was present for the confirmation of one as fact.

The Friday after moving out of our apartment, Quatre made one of his visits, and The Five sat across from one another at the trendy sandwich shop on the ground floor space of the building across the street from the Preventers' Headquarters. Our orders taken at the counter were made while we waited and watched. On one side of the table, I sat next to Quatre, with Trowa on his other side, and across from me, Wufei pulled out his chair. Duo took the seat across from Trowa, but I noticed the little frowns he sent my way.

Barely seated, a voice called out Duo's name in greeting. Five heads rose in unison to watch a fellow agent rise from his single table, picking up the tray holding his meal, and slipping into the seat between Duo and Wufei.

"Am I glad you all are here," he was saying, organizing his lunch in its new location. "I hate eating on my own, and hey, we're all brothers under the uniform, right?" His grin was nearly as infectious as Duo's could be.

"Then welcome," Quatre told him gracefully with a smile.

"Duo's talked about you guys so much, I feel like I know you all," he laughed. Duo frowned at his Ifriend/I and replaced his sandwich on its paper wrap. I watched Duo, shooting glances to the man seated at his side.

"I haven't said that much," Duo began.

"He hasn't mentioned you to us," Wufei said, turning back to his lunch and his hunt for stray onions.

"Oh! I'm…"

"Agent Sharp," Duo interjected. "We worked together gathering some paperwork a couple of weeks ago."

Duo's friend gave him an almost shy smile, and turned back to the table at large. "Yeah, paperwork."

Wufei grunted, and finally deemed his sandwich good enough to eat. Quatre looked to Duo, then to Agent Sharp, and back again. Trowa never stopped eating. Duo threw a look in my direction, and flushed, dropping his gaze, his sandwich suddenly becoming interesting.

Lowering my eyes to my own sandwich, I said slowly, "Paperwork can be very involved."

"You got that right." And he chuckled, elbowing Duo with a slight movement. I heard Quatre's quiet gasp, and felt his hand on my arm.

"_Paperwork_ can take all day and sometimes until late at night," I added, dropping my hands below the table, and forming fists on my thighs.

Agent Sharp barked a laugh, but didn't reply, taking a large bite of his sandwich instead. But he winked at me. Duo was looking away now, his sandwich shoved away from him, nearly on top of Trowa's sandwich wrapper. I could feel eyes on me, and refused to look up to meet Wufei's eyes, and Quatre's grip on my arm tightened.

"If an agent knew what he was doing, he wouldn't need help in the archives," Trowa contributed. He reached out and snagged Duo's pickle spear and took a bite before adding, "In fact, an agent would have to be pretty damn stupid to have to continually call upon a senior agent for assistance in finding his own _paperwork_."

I wasn't the only one looking in Trowa's direction. The scowl that had settled on Duo's face lifted, and he gave Trowa a wry grin. Agent Sharp had the grace to blush, and duck his head.

"Well, some agents believe it's worth the possible reputation of being a little 'dim' if they can catch the attention of certain senior agents." The stupid, dim agent was grinning again, and his eyebrows flagged in a suggestive manner. "I can tell you that it was anything but dim when we were doing _paperwork_ –"

"Shut the fuck up," Duo demanded roughly.

Standing abruptly, I picked up my tray. "I have to go," I intoned, and jerked away from the hand Quatre threw my way.

"Heero!" Duo called out from behind me, but I shoved my lunch, tray and all, in the trash chute, ignoring him. "Damn it, Heero." A chair hit the floor, and I was out the door, heading for the street and the imagined safety of my office.

Wufei had little to say when he returned to the office; his expression guarded, his eyes even more so. From his actions at the sandwich shop, I half expected Duo to make an appearance, but he hadn't by the end of the day. I shuffled log printouts around, wanting to finish up and go 'home', wanting to stay and wait it out. Wufei had been silent for most of the afternoon, but he stopped in front of my desk on his way out.

"If it helps, Duo had words with that agent. I don't believe the man will dare show his face around us again." He snorted softly. "I doubt he'll ever have lunch at that shop again, either."

In a small way, it did help, and I gave Wufei a nod. I knew that whatever had happened between Duo and Agent 'Dim' was superficial at best. But even knowing that didn't stop the image of Duo kissing the man. The image of the two doing _paperwork_ deep in the archives late at night with the security monitors covered, and the archive librarian gone for the day.

Security logs stowed, and my workstation locked up for the night, I was on my way out the door when Quatre caught up to me. He insisted on my joining him and Trowa at Trowa's place for dinner. My Friday evening plans were tentative at best, and spending the evening at my old apartment watching movies with Duo didn't seem to be an option I wanted to take.

Dinner was a quick affair, with Trowa and Quatre trading places in a near dance as they put something together in the small kitchen. I was regulated to the stool at the breakfast counter with a cold beer. Conversations were kept as light as the meal and neither spoke of what had happened during lunch. Or Duo. The table cleared, the stove and counters wiped clean, and the dishes rinsed and put in the washer. More beer and I found myself seated between my two friends on Trowa's monstrous, overstuffed couch. Some ancient thriller flickered away on the vidscreen.

It was late into the night, and I was on my sixth beer, drowsy, and comfortable. Trowa had put in the third such movie, and I suspected he shared a fondness for the absurd with Duo. When Trowa rose to change the first movie disc for the second, and while Quatre headed down the hall for a pit stop, I shifted from the couch to the chair. I understood what my friends were trying to do, but I didn't want to get in the way of what little time they had with one another.

I was about half-asleep in the chair that could have swallowed New London, when I thought I heard Trowa murmur, "Duo shouldn't shit in the sandbox he plays in." I thought I dreamt it, but Quatre's light laugh that he quickly stifled confirmed I wasn't.

"He'll outgrow it," Quatre said in a quiet voice. I found myself watching them, lying chest to back, legs entwined, wrapped up together – belonging together, and felt the ache of wanting choke me. Quatre's head lifted as he looked in my direction. "Heero?"

Shaking my head, I turned back to the movie, and drank from the bottle in my hand. When had life gotten so complicated? Love and being with someone who made you happy used to be such an easy concept. How could I dream of having something special, something lasting with Duo when our two friends who were so obviously in love – in love in the way it counted, deep and saturating – weren't together for more than a handful of days in a month's time?

I left before the third movie ended, accepting the hug Quatre gave, and returned Trowa's nod. After six beers, I should have stayed or called a cab. But, I walked back to Headquarters, and the gym, staying away from the heavy bag, this time and concentrated on the free weights.

* * *

The rumor mill churned and the scene from the sandwich shop added fuel to the grist. I spent the day dodging or ignoring pitying looks, avoiding heads tucked together in whispered conversations hidden behind upraised hands.

Another Monday, another resource meeting, and it seemed the list of departments requiring temporary and permanent transfers increased daily. I listened with only part of my attention on the division director and part on the temp assignment sheet in my hand.

Moving out had helped in distancing me from Duo's nightly activities, kept me from knowing his comings and goings, his phone calls, his _dates_. But, spending the last week enmeshed in talk of Duo and his liberal libido brought back the near hopeless feeling of loss, and poking in my chest.

I needed another change. Another temporary, distancing change. Something that would give me space, give me the chance to find that longed for perspective.

It was interesting that Wufei seemed to have the same idea, and mentioned that the both of us should take on temporary assignments. None of the duties listed contained fieldwork, tasks generally assigned to agents, duties that normally held Wufei's interest. The description of a TDY on a security tour of the colonies seemed to intrigue my partner. There was an opening for three agents, and he urged me to sign up with him. But, while I wanted distance, physically removing myself from any contact with Duo wasn't part of that package.

A midnight shift in Ops support tugged at me. It appealed to my sense of control, stimulated the need to manage several events at one time, and conclude the mission successfully. I had performed as Ops support before; all field agents were required to put in at least one hundred hours during training. Monitoring, setting up retrieval and extractions, and 'catching' packages thrown back to headquarters were only the tip of the iceberg in what Ops performed for the average agent. The temporary assignment was to cover for an agent on maternity leave, due to begin the following Sunday night, and was expected to run for ten to twelve weeks. And it within the timeframe of Wufei's security tour. Neither of us would be apart from one another for more than a week on either side of the temporary assignments.

Our current cases were in the wrap up stages; two pending trail dates, and one ended in the suspect's death by his own hand. All other cases were inactive, and could be turned over to another team for monitoring and maintenance. There was nothing on the horizon that was keeping either Wufei or I where we were. Unless, of course, an unknown terrorist group was suddenly to make itself known.

Approval for both requests was granted before the end of the day.

* * *

Office gossips picked up on both transfers, and assumptions were created as to why longtime partners were separating and going in different directions. I heard everything from an assignment gone wrong to 'he did him wrong' to a farfetched ménage de trios complete with jealousy and a knife fight.

I was beginning to think no one at the headquarters building had anything to do but make up stories fit for vid serials.

Coming back from meeting with the Ops Support director Wednesday afternoon, I found Wufei missing, and Duo pacing in long angry strides between the two desks. Two steps in the door, and Duo was in front of me, his face a contorted mask of fury.

"Is it true?" he spat out.

"Is what true?" I asked, a little uncertain where the anger was coming from, or what the hell he referenced.

"You're transferring out? You're quitting being an agent?"

Not quite sure how to answer his question, I edged past him, and went around my desk to take a seat. Duo immediately loomed over me, his arms braced on my desktop.

"It is true that I've accepted a temporary position in a non-agent capacity," I finally told him, meeting his glare.

Hurt flared in his eyes and was gone instantly. "Why?" he ground out, and I narrowed my eyes.

"You should know why."

"Is it because of that—" Duo sputtered for a moment, straightening to fling an arm in the general direction of the rest of the offices on the floor. "Because of last week? Because if it is, I can tell you right now that what happened with Sharp was weeks ago – long before you…" his lips worked shaping words he attempted to say.

"And how many others, Duo?" I asked him softly. "How many 'Sharps' will there be telling the world of something I can't have. Something that's been denied to me."

Duo sat abruptly, his anger fleeing like leaves on the wind. "You don't want what the Sharps had," he told me softly.

Inclining my head, I acknowledged the truth of what he said. "Regardless, I don't want to hear about it."

"You don't have to leave, to give up your job, Heero. Shit! I know how much you love what you do." Duo's hand was threaded through his bangs, pulling on his hair, his frustration evident.

"It's only temporary, Duo. Ten weeks – twelve at the most," I said gently, wanting to touch him, wanting to _hold_ him.

His eyes closed, and his hand dropped to his lap. I counted to forty before he sighed and opened his eyes to stare at me. "Your 'temporaries' are beginning to feel more like permanents every day." His voice sounded tired, his tone one of defeat.

Having no answer for him, I remained silent for there was the possibility that these temporaries could become permanent.

* * *

My first week in Ops support went as much as I suspected it would. Regulated as the 'newbie', I sat with a senior colleague who instructed me on the basics, who reminded me of the processes and procedures in place. And who showed me the unofficial shortcuts that cut through wasted time and bureaucracy.

By my third night, I was working on my own, handling several smaller operations. By the end of my first week, I soloed on an involved op with an agent live on the mission. I wasn't left on my own; my mentor jacked in to listen from time to time, and pulled up a dup screen to monitor the action and what my responses were. But, she left me to handle the situation. It was… thrilling, in a detached way. Leading the agent through a foreign government's military headquarters building, hi-jacking their computer by remote, and finding the intel our operative was sent to extract put me in tandem with the agent, as though I was there sharing the danger, anxiety, and fear of exposure.

Being the agent in UC situations before, I hadn't given a lot of thought to the voice on the other end of the ops line. If nothing else, this temporary duty gave me a new respect for those in a support position.

Two hours after my solo ops command, my work email box held a message containing a simple 'thank you' from the agent in the field.

Work ended late, after nine that morning. It seemed that no matter where a person worked within the organization, there was no escaping reports to write up and file, and debriefings to attend. When the knock sounded later that afternoon, I was asleep, tangled in the top sheet. I woke abruptly, forgetting in that instant where I was, and wondering who the hell had put daisy-printed sheets on my bed. By the second knock, I was up and stumbling to the door. Seeing who was on the other side, I almost returned to bed, and ignored the knock.

"Going to invite me in?" Trowa drawled, but he held up a take out bag and a couple of tall drinks, condensation rolling down their waxed sides.

Stepping back, I waved him in, shutting and locking the door behind him. I stood by the door as he looked over the place. If he had anything negative to say, he was keeping it to himself. After his quick scan, he set the bag and drinks down on the nearest end table.

"Cozy," was all he said.

I shrugged and moved passed him to the other side of the folded out bed, taking a seat on the armchair. "It's efficient." That seemed to end the matter; Trowa nodded and sat on the bed I'd vacated.

"Hungry?" he asked, reaching for the bag. "I brought that sub you always order from Roberto's." He held out the elongated, paper wrapped sandwich, and my stomach growled as I leaned over to take it from him. Trowa's lips lifted briefly, the amusement in his tone steady. "I'll take that as a yes."

Snorting softly, I sat back, opened the sub, and took a sniff of the pungent aromas wafting up from the still warm bread, meatballs and sauce tucked neatly inside. Trowa passed over the drink he'd brought with a handful of napkins, and we ate in a comfortable silence.

"Are you planning on staying away for the duration?"

The last quarter of sub folded back into its wrap, and I set it aside, no longer having an appetite. "No."

Trowa glanced up at me, held my gaze for a moment. Turning away, he put the remains of his lunch back in the bag and passed it over to me. "I put in for a transfer."

I frowned at him. "What's happened?"

"Nothing." Trowa laid back with his head resting on my pillow, feet draped off the side of the bed. "I'm going back to L4. There's an opening in branch security." One of his large hands flashed out and he snatched up an item Meloney left behind. "I'll be going whether the transfer's approved or not."

I offered a slight smile, attempting to define the emotion trying to push its way out. "Then you and Quatre are…" I left the question hanging.

"Yes," he answered softly, still staring at the rounded face of the bear he was holding.

"What about Duo?"

His eyes lifted to mine, and I felt him gauging what might be behind my question. "He encouraged the transfer. Said it was about time."

The short laugh surprised me, but it lightened the air between us. "He's right. It is about time."

"Besides, my sentence at being his partner was up two months ago." I smiled at his jibe, hearing again Duo's challenged packed comments about not having a partner that could keep up with him for more than a couple of months, and none longer than six.

"When did you start sleeping with a teddy bear?" Trowa lifted the caramel colored fuzzy animal and waved it in my direction.

I shrugged slightly, smiling. "He came with the bed."

Trowa drew the bear close to his chest. His eyes locked on mine. "Don't give up, Heero. Hold onto that passion. Don't settle for less." I had the feeling his words held a hint of warning.

"Duo's passionate." But I was no longer watching him. Instead, I leaned back in the chair, put my feet up on the edge of the sofa's mattress, and stared up at the ceiling. "It's in everything he does."

"It is," Trowa spoke softly. "He misses you."

"He knows where I am."

"I think he's holding out for an invitation," Trowa laughed softly. "He blames himself for you changing jobs."

I snorted in exasperation, and lowered my head to glare in Trowa's direction. "I've already told him why I transferred."

Trowa shrugged. "Your move was his fault, if indirectly."

A minute ticked by, and I turned to watch the sun slip through the windows and shine on the hardwood floor. "I'll talk to him," I said at last. Focusing on Trowa again, I saw he had relaxed into a near slumber, Meloney's bear still clutched to his chest. "If the transfer's approved, when do you leave?"

"A month," Trowa mumbled, not opening his eyes.

"About the time Wufei returns from his security tour." It made me wonder how often and when The Five would meet up in the future.

We settled into silence; I half dozed, watching the sun climb over the floor, and Trowa napped on my (temporary) bed, with my (temporary) bed companion in his arms.

After Trowa left, I showered, straightened the studio, and planned my days off. Wufei was scheduled to leave Monday morning. Despite his assurances he would email, and might even manage a vid call or two, I couldn't let him leave without giving him a proper goodbye. We had plans to meet on Sunday, to spend the afternoon sparring, and have dinner. Wufei was my partner for over four years, now, and if this situation worked out as I hoped it to, he will remain my partner for many more.

Standing in the sunlight streaming through those twin windows, I called Duo at work and we talked about Trowa's transfer for a few minutes before I asked him if he wanted to catch a movie. I wasn't comfortable going back to the apartment and watching vid disc to dawn, and I didn't want to think about the nuances of having dinner together. Duo took a moment before replying, and I was about to offer him an out. But he accepted, and even named a new release I'd barely heard of, and was already logging onto the theater's web site to pre-purchase tickets for the seven-ten showing. I was buying the popcorn and drinks.

I closed my eyes against the bright glare, turned my face to the sun, and let Duo tell me about his day. Tell me about the new case he and Trowa had been assigned; about how he might have to dust off his infiltration, and quite possibly his demolition, skills. I had the idea that Duo had had plans, a date, or a rendezvous prior to my call. But, I didn't want to think on what he might have had; I wanted to… _bask_ in the warmth that for the first time in several weeks, he had put me before anyone else.

* * *

Another week passed, Wufei left on schedule, and Trowa receive the approval for transfer to L4. I enjoyed my new, if temporary role and the adjustment to the change in hours wasn't a difficult one. However, working the overnight shift was different in many aspects. The presence of companions I had long since considered friends was not there. Conversions of shared pasts and experiences, both of a quiet and loud nature, no longer existed. I was not part of a team, and the sense of respect as an experienced and proven agent wasn't automatically given.

One change tendered in the wake of my new schedule was the time of my daily run. My body was used to rising by five, stretching, and expending energy before it began its day. I discovered on the first week that my body rebelled at exercising directly after work, minutes prior to lying down to sleep. The shift from waking at five in the morning, to waking at three in the afternoon to rise and begin my daily run went smoother than I thought it would.

Thursday afternoon, at the end of my second week as I returned from my run, I encountered one of Meloney's neighbors. He was a young man, about a year or two older than I was, juggling dual stacks of folders, clipped together papers, and several thin pamphlets. Just before the door to my borrowed apartment, the balancing act failed, and one armload tumbled to the hallway carpet.

"Shit!" The man swore softly, trying to keep his other armful from joining the first.

I hurried forward, and bent to assist gathering the papers. From the top sheet, and the few underneath I caught glimpses of what appeared to be copies of an instruction manual for beginning computer skills.

"Hey, thanks, man," the man told me, his arm extended to accept the restacked bundle.

Hesitating for a moment only, I offered hurriedly, "I can help carry them, if you need it."

"Oh…" He seemed startled, but recovered quickly, to accept with a grin. "You bet I'll take you up on that." He shifted his armload from one arm to the other and stuck out his right hand. "I'm Tim, by the way. Tim Calvert, and a new neighbor."

Moving my own bundle to free a hand, I shook his briefly, keeping my introduction even briefer. "Heero Yuy." I nodded toward the door behind and to his left. "Neighbors."

"Great," he announced, and gestured to the stairs I'd just come up. "My car's parked at the curb out front."

We headed down the stairs, his boots making heavy thuds on the uncarpeted, concrete steps. "I'm the assistant director at the ALC off-campus, and am putting a new course offering together."

"ALC?" I asked, though I had an idea on what he meant.

"Adult Learning Center," Tim supplied confirming my guess. "Courses in Simple Meals, Child Care as a Business, and Basic Accounting Practices are currently running. But the Basic Computer instructor lined up quit last night." He threw a hasty grin over his shoulder. "The course starts tomorrow at six, and I guess I'm the substitute until another sucker can be found."

I chuckled softly. "You speak in such high regard for your instructors. I can't believe any would want to leave."

Tim's laugh was loud and it rang up and down the narrow vertical hall. "Oh but I do have the highest respect for all the instructors." He grimaced slightly. "Most all the instructors," he amended. "But I still say we're all suckers, since the pay is abysmal, and the majority of the students have little appreciation for what they're being taught."

"Aren't they… adults?" I asked, somewhat confused. We had reached the ground floor, and I drew abreast of him as we crossed the entryway to the front door.

He made a slight humming noise in agreement. "Technically, all the students are considered adults. But, most are former high school dropouts, who had to leave for one reason or another. A few are there as part of a rehabilitation contract, or are relearning skills for a marketable future." He shrugged. "Some just want to get off one welfare program or another and the ALC is usually the first step."

We were at his car now, and he freed an arm again, reaching into a pocket to pull keys out and unlock the passenger side door. "After you," he told me, standing back.

I waited until he was arranging both stacks on the seat, running a hand through my hair, lifting it to cool sweaty skin, and asked, "What credentials does a beginning computer instructor have to have?"

He jerked upright, bumping his head on the doorjamb, and swearing softly under his breath, he gave me a look. "Why? Know someone who might be interested?"

Nodding, I told him, "Maybe."

"Good with computers? Not easily riled?" Tim was giving me a steady look, the jovial friendliness put away.

"Yes, and not usually," I answered. "It would depend on when the class is scheduled, and how long it lasts."

"Tuesday and Friday evenings from six to nine, and each course block runs in six week sets."

"I… would like to know more."

"Great," he said, the open friendliness he'd shown upstairs returned. "I've got to get down to the center, but if you can drop by, we can talk, I can show you around, introduce you to other staff members, and maybe sign you up." He gave me a laser printed business card, asked if I could be there by five, and drove off, muttering something about being late – again.

After a shower and a quick meal, I headed down to the ALC. In my mind, becoming the new computer instructor was only a matter of paperwork. And I was right. The center was a large two-story building, with offices on the front ground floor, home craft courses taught in the rooms behind the offices, with general education, English as a second language, and technology courses taught on the second floor.

My first class was the following Friday, and I returned to Meloney's apartment with the current handbook, computer training printouts, and the basic instructor's manual. I was told to arrive by five the next day, and Tim promised to help me set up what I needed for class, and to guide me through course paperwork to verify registered students.

* * *

At once, my days of standing at the twin windows absorbing the afternoon sun, listening to the silence in Meloney's apartment ended. Tim calling the ALC's instructors 'suckers' became apropos in my case; I found myself spending more and more time at the center, getting sucked into the weekly activities, and assisting in the resource center.

Another week ended, concluding the first full month at my temporary position, and I realized it had been a number of days since I'd heard from Duo, let alone seen him. A call to his cell rang straight to his voice mail, and when he didn't pick up his desk phone, I called his partner.

"He's UC," Trowa informed me. "Went under over a week ago."

"Estimate duration?" I asked, allowing myself to lean against the wood window frame.

"Another week, maybe as long as a month," Trowa said.

"He never said anything." I _knew_ my voice sounded peevish, reminding me of some of the students at the center. "At least, he told me about the new assignment, but said nothing about going under cover."

Trowa was quiet for several minutes. "Maybe he believed it didn't matter to you any more."

"Why…" I choked out, straightening abruptly. "Of course it matters to me!"

"Maybe you should remind him," Trowa suggested. "When he gets back." I nodded into the phone. "You've been successful in putting yourself at a distance. Maybe too successful."

"What do you mean?" I forced the question out in a harsh whisper.

A long moment passed, and I heard Trowa sigh. "Did you know he's stopped all the dating, all the flirting you've seen in recent months? That the only time he's been to the clubs was with me, and once with both Quatre and me?"

"What does that mean, Trowa? Is he—does he…" I wasn't sure I what I wanted to know, if I wanted to know.

"I think you need to ask him when you see him again," Trowa told me again. There was a loud beep from Trowa's end, and he muffled the phone for a moment. "I have to go, Heero. But remember, talk to Duo when he gets back."

I disconnected the call, and lowered the hand holding the phone slowly, staring sight unseen out the window.

* * *

Three nights later, after the call with Trowa, an emergency code came over my com control. In flash bursts, the codes relayed the request for a full data dump at highest priority, followed by agent in imminent danger, and the coordinates for an emergency extraction site.

Fingers flew over my keyboard, and I barked orders through my headset, giving the agent's coordinates, and demanding the lift team scramble to await further orders. The agent's transmitter had limited receiving capabilities, but I forced assurance through the line, and gave the go ahead to begin transmission.

The file transfer began immediately, and I directed it off to a segregated parcel on the Ops mainframe. Taking a moment while the transfer buzzed in the background, I pulled up the agent's transmitter codes on my com console and matched it to its assigned agent. For a moment, my blood ran cold, dread pounding in my chest.

The agent in trouble was Duo.

I had to get him out of there; I had to find out where _there_ was, and what sort of hot spot he'd landed in. On my secondary console, I flipped through the pending operations, pulling his to the fore, and read through the pertinent data.

Policy would have me notify the agent's immediate supervisor. Skipping that step, I tossed my cell to the senior Ops coordinator, Jana, and told her to contact Trowa, tell him to get his ass down to headquarters. The hell with procedure. I woke the division chief and put him on stand-by for authorization codes to enact contingency protocols.

With Duo's ass on the line, instigating a war to pull him out wasn't about to stop me.

"That's why agents make the best – and the worst – Ops coordinators," Jana commented at my shoulder. Her hand gripped my upper arm in a gentle squeeze. "You're all so personally involved."

"Some a little more personally involved than others," I muttered under my breath. If Jana heard me, she didn't say anything, but released my arm and returned to her own console station.

The transmission complete, I directed Duo to a possible equipment cache, leftover from a weapons sting from two years previous. Vancouver Canada had never been a hot bed of terrorist activity, but being within hours of international waters, and the expansive spaces between areas of Northwest United States, and several Canadian territories, it made an excellent jump-off spot for other illegal activities.

Duo was investigating black-market sensitive electronics, with possible links to earth-wide smuggling. His cover had seemed fail proof as a universal aircraft pilot highly skilled but a temper and arrogance to keep him unemployed and hungry enough to fly for a less than honest company. Duo had the skills, and his temper and arrogance was legendary. Very little acting would have been involved.

The data parcel was encrypted, and I executed the decryption program against it, keeping an eye on my connection to Duo's transmitter. It was moving, and the street map overlay showed me he was nearly to the cache site. I sent its location details with access codes to the strong box that should contain the equipment. It was a waiting game now. The EVAC team was en route with an ETA of thirty minutes.

"God damn, mother fuck," a familiar voice swore behind me. I swiveled in my chair, and acknowledged Trowa's presence, wondering briefly how he'd gotten Jana to give up her console.

"Have you seen this?" He asked me, and I spared his screen a peek. A minute's scan told me what kind of shit Duo had sent.

"I didn't have time," I told him. "Duo doesn't have a two-way link."

Trowa was shaking his head. "He wouldn't. His transmitter was hard enough to disguise and keep hidden."

A blip flashed in the corner of my eye, and I turned to my console instantly. It was Duo's transmitter, letting me know what frequency he set for his two-way communicator. Keying into his channel, I noticed his tracer was in motion, and moving fast.

"Agent Night," I said clearly into my microphone.

"Heero?" Duo's sounded surprised. "Well damn, buddy."

"Status?" I inquired, getting ready to relay any injuries and medical needs to the flight crew.

"Fucked, but still running," he said. He was breathing hard; sounds of traffic – heavy traffic – could be heard in the background.

"Are you injured?" I clarified, pinpointing his position, and tried to find a safe spot to wait for extraction.

"It's not going to slow me," Duo dismissed it. "Where am I heading, Heero-buddy? I've got a tail on me about five deep, no weapon, and would like to stop dodging the firepower now."

"EVAC ETA, twenty-two minutes," I told him, keeping my voice even. "How close is your tail?"

"Ah shit, I don't know. Stopping for this headset just about got me killed, though." I heard him grunt. _Impact_, I thought. "Fucking retaining walls. Should be illegal." He was running again, and I found a place to stash him for a few minutes.

"Maintain current heading point-six-five kilometers," I told him. "Dinty's Storage Yard will be on your left. Unit B-four-three-five. Security access to follow."

"Roger that, Ops." Duo was beginning to sound tired.

"I can send in the locals," I offered. "Might run them off, slow them down."

"No can do, buddy," Duo said.

"Data indicates local law enforcement might be involved," Jana told me, her chair pulled up between Trowa and me. "It's going to be a drop and grab. No time for prep, so it might get rough."

Shit. "Duo," I said, taking my mic off mute. "Find that unit. You can have ten minutes, then you need to be out and ready for pick up or there might not be another chance."

"Copy, Ops. I'm at the fence now." His blinking dot appeared stalled, and I patched in an emergency override to cut the security lights and shut down the cameras at the storage facility. "Why are these damn fences so high? And what's with the razor wire?" He groused. "Fuck! Add another injury to the list."

"What list?" I asked, putting a hint of amusement in my tone. "So far I've got 'fucked, but running'. That doesn't make a list."

Duo laughed in a breathless rush. "Yeah, well I'll show you where the cut is when it scars."

"Roger that."

"Asshole." Duo grunted. "On B block now. What's the code?"

I gave it to him, while bringing the cameras back online, and flooding the common areas with light. "No sign of pursuit," I informed Duo. "EVAC ETA, fifteen minutes."

"Good. Wake me up in ten, will ya?"

He wouldn't sleep, I knew, but he would rest and take care of any injuries needing urgent attention. Most safety units contained basic needs – water, ration bars, and first aid kits. Some of the more sophisticated spots held small arms, automatic weaponry, low-intensity explosives, clothing, money, and vehicles. The storage unit Duo was using was one of the more basic spots.

Two minutes passed, and I verified ETA with the extraction team. They were making good time, and Duo had to move. "Duo," I called softly through the line. "Time to go. Flyboys caught a good tailwind."

"Five more minutes, ma," Duo muttered, but I could hear the rustle of clothing as he rose to his feet, could almost hear the groan of strained muscles and aching limbs.

"Almost over, hotshot," I told him. "EVAC ETA, six minutes." I verified the flight path, checked that the storage complex was still clear, and confirmed pick-up coordinates. "I need you to head straight to the back fence, climb over, and head west for two blocks. There will be a vacant lot, and rescue two will drop a line."

"Drop a line? You're saying that I have to climb my own ass up to safety?"

"It's a hot drop, Duo," I let him know. "Air space is compromised." The thought occurred, and I asked urgently, "Will you need assistance?"

Duo chuckled. "Will you be manning the harness?" Jana laughed beside me, and I shot a glance her way. "Guess that's a no, huh? Nah, I'm good, but thanks for asking."

"Maybe next time," I offered. It wasn't the time or place to imagine sharing a carry harness, with Duo sitting chest to chest in my lap, dangling from a safety line hundreds of feet above the ground. But, I knew that image would play a part in nighttime fantasies to come.

"Yeah, next… oh fuck!" Duo cried out, and for several breathes, he continued to curse, not responding to my hails. "I didn't get the chance to blow anything up!"

My heart rate limped back to a more normal rate, and words dried in my throat.

"Cut the shit, Duo. You're giving Heero a heart attack."

"Tro?" Duo nearly shouted across the line. "What the hell are you doing there?"

"Can't have a party and not invite me, can you?" Duo chuckled. "The data you've retrieved has been delivered. I'll be heading down to Planning, and putting a team together."

"What about me?" Duo was eager.

"No can do, buddy. We need to jump on this now, before they have a chance to clean up."

"EVAC ETA two minutes," I interjected. "You should be in position, Duo."

"Yeah, I'm there, just hanging back in the shadows," Duo let me know. "Sitting fucking duck out there, yanno."

"I won't be here when you get back," Trowa added. "But you'd better be ready to assist on the mop up, hear?"

"You got it, Tro. Hey Heero, where the fuck are they?"

I confirmed with the flight crew, and flipped back to Duo. "Coming over the high rise now."

"Alright! I can see them. Gotta go, buddy."

"Not until you're in secured space," I told him sharply. "You will remain in contact until I release you, agent."

"Yes, sir!" Duo yelled. "Line's been dropped and things are going to get a little windy."

And they were. The connection whistled with noise, half-heard shouts and instructions, curses, and the rustle of clothing. The sudden stillness and near silence spooked me. "Duo?"

"He's on board, Ops," the EVAC chief was on Duo's com unit. "Had to remove his communicator to dress an injury."

"Status?"

"Multiple abrasions, contusions, a severe laceration on the rear of the upper right thigh, possible broken ribs – bruised," the chief listed each injury with a brief pause between. I assumed he was verifying with Duo where the next one was located. "Patient does not appear to have internal bleeding, but he's taken a beating. Have medical meet us at the hanger with x-ray on standby."

"Roger that," I said, turning to Jana. Only then did I notice that Trowa was gone, and remembering what he'd told Duo, I knew he was upstairs in Operation Planning. Jana was at her console, queuing up the medical team, and giving them the run down on Duo's condition.

"Laceration to the left temple that will need stitches."

"Is there any place that isn't injured?" I asked, trying to picture what was coming through the line.

"Very damn little," the chief chuckled. His laugh was cut short, and he swore. "GSW to the LLQ—"

"He's been shot?" I demanded, suddenly on my feet.

"—bilateral."

"Entry and exit?" I asked hands forming fists at my sides.

"Through and through, yes," the chief said calmly. "It is a surprise he's not in shock, but it could be he's too busy giving my medic a hard time." The amusement in the man's voice did more to reassure than his words.

"ETA?" I asked, resuming my seat. Jana pressed a bottle of water in my hand, and made drinking motions.

"Fifteen minutes," I was informed. "We are in European air space now."

"Roger that, Rescue two," Jana cut in. "I have you on scope, scheduled to set down on H-2." She muted her mic and turned to me. "Get out of here, Heero. Head over to the hanger or the medical wing, if you can't make it up the stairs."

I stood, my legs feeling like jello. "Thank you."

"And don't come back until tomorrow night," she added, before turning back to the console, and picking up where she'd left off on directing the EVAC team.

Preventer's headquarters had two landing pads, and both were on the roof, up fifteen flights of stairs. I wouldn't be running them tonight. At two-thirty in the morning, the building was normally quiet, but as the elevator rose, I got the sense of urgency, of movement behind the doors. My hand crushed the water bottle Jana had given me, and I tossed it out the moment the doors opened on roof access level.

Medical personnel were already stationed, a gurney I knew Duo would refuse to use standing by. A slender woman in blue scrubs with her hair pulled up high and tight into a tail and a stethoscope hanging from her neck was turned away from the heli-pad, a headset on and her hands pressed to her ears. She called out orders to staff members behind her, and the treatment cart was prepared. I moved closer, trying to determine what they expected.

The quiet beat of rotors sounded, and I looked up barely able to discern the black, sleek copter lowering to the roof. Its runners landed gently, and the rooftop exploded with motion, the helicopter doors flew open, the medical team ran forward at a crouch, and I trailed behind, wanting to catch sight of Duo.

"I can walk!" his voice carried over the sound of the blades and motor. The medico in charge, tried again to force him up onto the gurney, the rescue chief shook his head and gestured, his words lost in the distance between us.

I was standing back, but suddenly had a clear path to Duo. He was protesting, pulling his arm from the orderly's grasp, and in an instant, he went still. He'd seen me. His mouth opened; I saw him sigh, and suddenly I was moving, pushing past those standing between us.

My arms went around him, embracing him tightly for a moment, and he leaned into me. I could feel the trembling in his muscles, could _feel_ the weariness that surrounded him.

"Get on the gurney, Duo," I told him in a hushed voice. "You've already proven what a hardheaded asshole you can be. No need to die showing everyone."

"Heh, would be new, huh?"

"Would be stupid, yeah." I released him slowly, carefully, and guided him to the gurney, helped him to sit on its edge, and to lay back on it. The medico came forward, gave me a short glance before reaching for the blood pressure cuff already wrapped around his arm. I was going to step back, let the medical team do their work, but Duo clutched at my hand.

"See me home, Heero?" he more mouthed than said aloud.

The gurney was on the move, and I trotted along beside it, Duo's hand in mine. His eyes were closing, his breathing evening out; the exhaustion was winning. He was alive and home and I didn't have to start a war to get him there.

* * *

His injuries were serious, but non-life threatening. There were no broken ribs, no internal bleeding, and fewer stitches than originally believed. Even his hospital stay was limited to two days, with follow up orders to convalescence at home for seven more. If he passed the medical phase one review, he would be allowed to return to desk duty in four-hour work intervals.

After spending what free time I had with him in the hospital, I returned to my routine, adding periodic calls to Duo during the morning before I went to bed, in the afternoon when I woke up, and at night before work.

Duo was not reticent in voicing his boredom, his enforced rest, and lack of anything to do. The day after Duo was released from the hospital, Trowa found him hobbling down to his car, planning to go for a drive. Trowa took Duo's car home with him, and refused to bring it back until after the medical review.

On day seven of his convalescence, Duo called me two hours after I'd gotten home from work to let me know he'd passed the medical and would be back at work the following day. I forced myself to stay awake, and listen to him talk, listen to him tell me about the assignment he'd been involved in, what had gone wrong with his cover, and what Trowa had relayed to him on the case status.

I was half-asleep, listening to the cadence and flow of his voice more than the words. He stopped talking suddenly, and sighed.

"I never see you any more, Heero."

Giving him a disagreeable grunt, I had to fight to remember when I'd last gone to see him. "Hasn't been that long," I murmured. "Three days?"

"But not every day. Not like before."

Ah. I shifted in bed, and reclined against the back of the sofa. "It's only for a couple of more weeks, Duo."

"Will you move back to the apartment then?"

I closed my eyes, and tried to remember when Meloney told me she was expecting to come back. A month. But, I wasn't sure if I wanted to stay away another month. "I don't know yet," I temporized.

He sighed again, and fell silent. I listened to him breathe, listened to the clock on the wall tick in the still of the morning, and drifted into a doze.

"Can I at least come see you?"

Eyes snapping open wide, I asked almost wildly, "Now?" And cast a look around the apartment.

Duo laughed softly. "No. Tomorrow? Next week? Any time I want?"

"Okay," I told him, nodding my head. He laughed softly again.

"You're really pliant when you're half-asleep," he told me. "I kind of like that."

I made an agreeable noise, content for the moment with his comment.

"I have PT every day for the next couple of weeks," he continued. "But I scheduled it for the morning to leave the afternoon free. So, maybe if you're not busy, we could spend some time together."

"Sounds good, Duo,"

"Loan me a kidney, Heero?"

"When you need it." But I laughed lightly.

"Go back to sleep, Heero. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay," I told him. But, I don't think I hung up my phone. It was beeping an annoying broken line noise when I woke up later that afternoon.

As I went through my afternoon routine after waking, I thought about what Trowa told me, thought about the conversation I was supposed to have with Duo, about the one we had, and remembered the trials of my training.

In most everyone's view, the training I'd received was harsh, too rough by normal standards. I would not disagree, but, there had been lessons instilled I would never have learned in any other manner. Each phase of training, each mission up to and including Operation Meteor, I had been offered options, usually between three and four, but sometimes only two, to choose my own path. The path of least resistance, enough to get the job done, but only barely. The hardest route, the most dangerous, but one that if completed would be successful. And always, the last option would be to remove myself from the equation.

Taking my own life was no longer an option; had not been an option since before the Eve War ended. The question I now struggled with was, was the path of least resistance to give into Duo's request, return to the apartment, to my own room and bed, and hope that the situation changes to what I wanted it to be? Or would my return be the rougher path, become the most dangerous, leaving me vulnerable, but with its completion, the most successful?

Dressed for my daily run, I sought solace in that routine, in the sound of my running shoes meeting the pavement, the steady rhythm of my heart beating in my ears, and the near euphoria the distance brought.

/end part three

* * *


	4. Part 4: Misguided Angel

Title: Conjunctive Point

Pairing: Heero/Duo

Theme: Time of Day – evening

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: BL, Language, Angst

Disclaimer: I own neither Gundam Wing nor Cowboy Junkie's song title.

Notes: Written for the Summer 08, Stages of Love (an LJ community), this is the fourth of five stories for this theme.

* * *

**Part 4: Misguided Angel**

It was too early for the sun to set, but I stood at the large picture window overlooking the riverside dock anyway. Behind me, the maître d' welcomed a newly arrived couple in low, modulated tones, and escorted them into the dining interior. I didn't need to look at my watch to know that my dinner companion was running late; Relena always ran late shortly after returning to earth's orbit.

Abnormally busy for a Thursday, I hadn't yet reached a conclusion from my afternoon deliberations after Duo's wake up call by the end of my run only to find a message Relena had left, asking me to meet her for dinner. It had been a number of weeks since I'd last spoken with her, even longer since we'd last gotten together. I knew it would be a subject she'd broach, if only to mildly chastise.

Seeing her reflection in the glass, I was turning even as she called my name. I smiled for her, returned her hug, and let her lips brush my cheek – her standard greeting for old friends. She laughed and wiped at the lipstick left behind with the pad of her thumb, as she always did. And then she took my hand and pulled me toward the dining room, telling me her appetite was on Colony schedule, and she was starving. I managed a nod to her bodyguard in passing, and received a short nod with a definite smirk in return.

There had been a time I had been in their shoes and knew just what it was to follow Relena about; I did not envy the position.

We were barely seated, water glasses so fresh the sides hadn't begun to form condensation, and I was still in the process of opening my menu when Relena asked.

"How's Duo?"

Perusing the appetizers a moment, I replied over the top of the menu, "seemed fine the last time I spoke to him."

Her eyes were scanning her own menu selection, her brow slightly puckered in concentration. "And when was that? Two weeks? A month ago?"

I deliberately glanced at my watch, and told her with a serious tone, "Seven hours, and thirty-five…six minutes ago."

She looked at me with a curious gleam in her eyes, her lips parting slightly, and her menu forgotten. "He really is fine, then? And you are back together?"

Frowning at her choice of words, I turned back to my menu. "Yes, he is physically fine, or will be once he's through physical therapy. As for 'back together', we would have had to have been _together_ in order to get _back_ together." Making my selection, I closed the menu and set it aside.

Relena sighed exasperatingly and added her menu to my own. "You _know_ what I meant. Why are you always so literal?"

"Why be imprecise when it is as easy not to be?" Her lips twitched, and I knew that if we were in a more private setting, I would have a bruise on my shin. She's done it before. Relenting, I told her, "We are friends, still talking and doing activities together _as friends_, and I am still living in Meloney's apartment."

She continued to stare at me, her mouth slightly pursed. I wondered what scheme was churning behind those too innocent eyes, what she would say next, what plan she was developing. But her response surprised me. "Alright, I promise to not question you about it any longer." Her gaze turned to the window and she pretended to watch the watercraft on the river for a moment. "As a friend, I hope you will feel comfortable enough to confide in me."

As if I'd ever confided my private thoughts to her; as if I'd talk of such a personal issue with _anyone_, even a friend. "When I feel the need to talk, you will be one of the first people I would feel comfortable turning to, Relena." Her look was skeptical, but she was mollified enough to say no more.

The thought dawned on me as our orders were taken, and the server left leaving a basket of wisp thin breadsticks – where _had_ Relena heard about Duo and me? I knew the last time we'd spoke had only been days after 'The Weekend', and it was still too raw for me then to speak of it to anyone. But, she had just returned from a colony trade conference on L4. Quatre.

"You've been gossiping with Quatre," I accused.

"What?" She jumped, the breadstick she'd been nibbling on snapped in her fingers. "Gossip, Heero? I don't gossip about my friends."

"Alright, you and Quatre were talking about us," I amended. "It's still gossip, even if it is friends."

"But Heero, that's not fair." Relena pouted in her mock little girl way. "I merely inquired about all of my friends I knew Quatre had been in contact with recently. He was very brief and discreet in what he told me." She bit into her breadstick, and chewed thoughtfully, watching me. After a sip of water, she said, "It was Wufei who told me what happened."

I nearly choked on my own water. "Wufei?" He was even more closemouthed than I can be, and didn't indulge in gossip of any sort.

Looking back out the window, a brush of color tinted her cheeks. "I might have hinted I knew more than I did when I ran into him."

"He was on L4 as well?" I tried to remember where and when his security tour placed him.

"Oh yes. He was there with several others to observe and evaluate the conference security set up and personnel."

My grunt in response bought me a tiny glare. As her bodyguard in the early days post Mariemia's aborted rise to power, a grunt as an answer or acknowledgement would have garnered a fifteen-minute 'talk' about expressing myself properly. I quickly learned to be more verbal and less uncommunicative. It was a lesson I continue to value.

Relena changed the topic of discussion to unintrusive matters when dinner arrived. By dessert, I knew of all the quirks and odd habits of the current ruling senate, and several cabinet members. Apparently, she and Quatre had a contest to find as many mannerisms displayed at the conference as they could, and once dismissed for the day, they compared notes. I smiled remembering her little games to keep boredom at bay while she absorbed and analyzed the discussions and debates going on around her.

Our server slipped the padded check folder by my side once assured we had both eaten enough. Relena made the slightest displeased noise, and reached for it even as I moved it away.

"Heero," she warned. "You are my guest."

"And in the years you've known me, when have I ever let you pay for my meal?" I rushed on, knowing what she'd say. "A meal with only the two of us meeting as friends, not as part of a collective group or function I've attended."

A frown flashed. "That doesn't mean you shouldn't let me, at least once."

"Next time," I answered lightly, already pulling the bills from my wallet and laying them between the leather bindings. She snorted in a very impolitic fashion, and smiled brightly at my look.

Leaving the dining room, I walked her down the thickly carpeted stairs of the members club to the entryway, her arm tucked into mine. She made the slightest of pauses, and turned into me, giving my arm a squeeze. I looked down into her face, and couldn't help the smile I gave her.

She returned the smile, her palm rested briefly on the lapel of my dinner jacket, her fingers touching the white button up beneath. She sighed softly, and continued her descent.

"You are really a most handsome man, Heero."

Now, I almost paused, but gave her another smile and a quiet 'thank you'. Relena had never been frugal with her compliments, but she wasn't free with flattery. We shared a silence then, waiting inside the club until the uniformed doorman indicated Relena's driver had arrived.

I was about to hand her into the vehicle when she hesitated, turning to me. "Heero," she began in a low voice and stopped. With a quick look around, she pushed against my chest with a gentle hand, and backed me up several steps, away from the car, her bodyguard, the valets, and the doorman.

"You are sure, about… Duo?" she asked in an uncertain voice, and worried at her lower lip looking up at me.

Even understanding where her concern was coming from, anger flashed and was gone. I thought of Duo suddenly. Thought of him as he'd sounded that afternoon, as he'd been that weekend, and the change in who he was in the weeks following.

"Yes," I told her sincerely. "I am more sure about Duo than I am of anything else in this life."

Her smile was soft; the kiss she gave impulsive. Eyes too bright, she said, "Good."

And I knew it was.

* * *

Before the debriefing meeting Friday morning, the division director of Ops Support stopped at my console station. He watched at my shoulder for a moment before asking me to join him in his office before leaving.

I agreed and watched him walk away only to find Jana's eyes on me. She smirked in a knowing way, and I scowled. Though I knew I hadn't done anything wrong (other than by-pass protocols and procedure skipping to bring Duo home) nothing in the past week that would require the director's personal attention.

"What?" I demanded.

"You'll find out in a few minutes," she said turning back to her console and beginning turnover protocols.

Turning back to my own console, I began my own turnover. Two can play at that game.

Jana was right; in less than thirty minutes later, I sat in a padded chair across the desk from the division director. He met me at the door when his assistant announced me, and offered refreshments before escorting me to the chair personally. I had the idea I wasn't there to receive a personal reprimand.

"I know it's been a long shift for you, so I'll get right to the point," he began. "Your duty as a temporary replacement Ops Support Coordinator will be over in two weeks time," the director glanced down at the open folder he had on his desk. "After your Thursday night shift." His eyes found mine.

"Yes, sir," I confirmed, wondering where he was going.

"It has been brought to my attention that you are an exceptional ops coordinator, Agent Yuy."

I blinked in surprise. "Thank you, sir." Not certain what else I should say.

"In fact, I have received no less than two recommendations from agents in the field that you've worked with, and one from a colleague." He was smiling without the fake façade often present in upper management. "There is a special opening, one I believe will fit your abilities, and utilize your skills perfectly."

"A… new post?" I asked, frowning. "I already have a position, sir."

The director nodded. "That is understood, Agent. However, a man of your talent should be given the opportunity to be selective where he can." He pulled a sheet from the stacked pile and slid it across the desk. "As with your current position, duty hours are standard, but will be governed by project, special assignment, or mission. If you accept the position, you will be working in the Jump Squad."

I looked up sharply this. Considered the elite of the elite, the Jump Squad was often the first team on site in the hot bed activity, ready for firefight and battle conditions no matter the terrain. "What would this position consist of? What are the duty requirements?" I wasn't about to 'jump' into the fire.

"Your primary focus would be Ops support, in charge of your own operations command." The director gave an acknowledging nod as he added, "And if required, back up mission support including combat, hostile take-down, civilian rescue, and as part of the arresting force."

Nodding, I scanned through the job description and parameter scope again. It sounded… intriguing. But, there were other factors than my own inclination. Wufei was expected within the next two or three days, and there was Duo. I couldn't do anything until I spoke with both of them.

"It's an interesting offer, and I'm flattered you believe I'm qualified for it, sir," I said, setting the sheet back on his desk. Meeting his eyes, I asked, "Do you need a decision today?"

"No, not at all," the director said and stood. "However, the position needs to be filled quickly—"

"I will have an answer for you on Monday morning," I interrupted him, rising to my feet and holding out my hand.

"Very good, Agent Yuy. Monday morning it is, then." He shook my hand briefly.

"Thank you, sir," I replied. I half turned to go, but lingered a moment longer. "If it's not confidential, I would like to discuss the offer with my partner." I didn't add Duo, believing that he was at least the same rank and clearance as Wufei, and if granted for one, it would be for the other.

"Of course. You have had a long-term agent partner, and it is acceptable to talk it over with…" he glanced at the file on his desk again. "Him."

"Thank you, sir." I gave him a short nod, and made my way toward the door, the director following on my heels.

"I'll see you back here after the debriefing on Monday." Another acknowledging nod and I was out of his office.

Jana waited for me down the hall from the director's offices, leaning against the wall with a tall gourmet coffee in a disposable cup. My steps faltered on seeing her, but I continued toward the elevators. She swung into step beside me, giving me that knowing smirk again.

"So?" she prompted.

"Classified." She probably knew about the offer already, but I wasn't going to be the one to confirm what had taken place.

She snorted and played with a row of bracelets on one wrist while we waited for the elevator. I studiously avoided looking in her direction, but noticed she kept glancing at me. She waited until we were behind elevator doors before she spoke.

"I think you'll do very well, Heero."

Taking the chance that she was guessing, I raised an eyebrow at her. "I'll do very well at what, exactly?"

Jana's laugh was anything but friendly innocence. "I'm sure you do very well at most everything you do." She took a drink from her coffee cup, and closed her eyes in that fix-addiction bliss. "He asked me about you. What my opinion was of your abilities and how I thought you'd do under high pressure situations." Her eyes opened slowly. "I told him he'd be a fool to look at anyone else."

I snorted, and shook my head laughing. "A 'fool'? The director?"

Her shoulder lifted and the elevator doors slid opened. We shuffled out on the ground floor between those wanting to go up.

"My actual words were 'it would be a wise decision to promote Agent Yuy, sir', meaning it would be a foolish one not to."

Stopping at the headquarters entrance, Jana jerked her chin out the glass doors. "Got to run. Chelsea's waiting, and that girl hates to wait."

"See you Sunday," I called out to her retreating back, and stood watching her race to the silver SUV. Seeing Jana outside of work, seeing her with her family lent a surreal feel to the moment. Tall, independent, and a commanding, non-nonsense presence in Ops Command, to a loving wife and mother outside those doors.

I wasn't surprised to find I was smiling as I made my way to my car.

* * *

Friday evening was hot, with high humidity. At five minutes past four, or so Tim told me, the air conditioning unit in the Center gave a rattling, gasping breath and died before Last Rites were administered.

By seven, not even the fans arranged in every classroom with all but the most necessary lights shut off could cool the building down to acceptable levels. I had to caution Tim about running electronic equipment in the heat, and he made the decision to cancel all classes until Monday when a cool front was expected (and hoped the air conditioner could be repaired before then).

Packing up for the night, I helped Tim cart items too delicate to withstand the heat to his car, and offered to help carry them upstairs to his apartment. He accepted and I remembered the moniker he'd christened Center instructors.

Clearing the stairs to the fifth floor landing, I nearly ran into Tim's back. He'd stopped walking (and talking) so suddenly.

"Tim?" I asked, stepping around and up to his side. A figure lounged in a slouching lean on one side of Meloney's apartment door.

"I think you've got company," Tim stage whispered in an aside to me. "And it looks like he's getting hotter by the moment."

I snorted at Tim's comment, knowing Duo would be getting impatient and wondering how it was I hadn't let him know what I was doing on Friday evenings. "Duo," I said warmly approaching him.

"Heero." His eyes flicked from my face to Tim standing behind me. "Gonna introduce me to your _friend_?"

For a moment, the bite of his tone confused me. I gave him a puzzled look, but gestured to Tim with my chin. "This is Tim. He's a neighbor in five-oh-nine." I hefted the plastic tote I was carrying. "He needed some help bringing a few items upstairs."

"Yeah, there's a sucker born every minute," Tim added with a little eyebrow wiggle.

"Tim, this is my friend Duo."

"Nice to meet you," Tim offered, waving his fingers from under the box he carried.

Duo acknowledged his greeting with a nod. "Same here."

I shot him a frown, and he raised an eyebrow in my direction. "Here," I said, shifting the tote to hold up against the wall and a hip. I dug into a pocket and produced my key ring. "Door key's the larger silver one," I told Duo, taking the tote back in my arms. "Go ahead and let yourself in, and I'll finish helping Tim unload his car. It shouldn't take long."

"I can take care of the rest, Heero," Tim jumped in, shifting his glance between Duo and me. "Stay with your friend."

Already shaking my head, I told him, "You'll pass out in this heat. It won't take but another trip or two, and Duo can wait that long."

"Yeah, I can wait," Duo drawled, flipping my keys around his finger by the ring. If he hadn't been injured, I would have cornered him into helping.

"Alright, I give. I wasn't looking forward to carting all those boxes upstairs by my self," Tim said with a smile. "I'll go down and unlock my door, and wait for you there," he added even as he turned and started down the hall.

"Nice fella," Duo said, looking after Tim with narrowed eyes. I watched Duo with my own eyes narrowing.

"Yes, he is. Runs the Adult Learning Center on Martha," I told him. "You should get inside, turn down the AC, and get comfortable." His head jerked around to look at me, his eyes widened. "Your face is flushed, and you look like the heat is affecting you."

"Ah…" Duo fumbled with the keys and turned to the door. "I'm good. Just need some water and a little cool air."

"Affirmative." I nodded and started passed him toward Tim's. "I should be back in ten minutes."

"Got ya," Duo said, opening the door, and hesitating on the wrong side to watch me.

"Go on inside," I said, continuing down the hall.

It took a little longer than ten minutes, and I was hot and sweaty, my shirt soaked and my calves were twinging. Duo had left the door unlocked, and I was stripping off my shirt the moment the door was closing behind me.

"Fuck, that is the last time I volunteer for something like that," I mumbled coming into the living room. Duo was there, a tall glass of water in one hand.

"Here." He shoved the glass at me, and I drank it down, letting the excess escape my lips and run down my chin. Never had anything tasted so good.

Seeing Duo standing there watching me, I realized I'd closed my eyes while drinking. He had on a tiny smile, and his eyes couldn't seem to settle on one place for longer than a moment.

I handed the empty glass back, and wiped a forearm across my brow. "I'm going to grab a fast shower and change clothes real quick," I told him, already heading toward the bathroom.

"Sure, I got all night." I turned quickly to look at him, but he smiled and waved his hands at me in a 'get out of here' manner.

When I emerged five minutes later, toweling off my hair and wearing only a clean pair of running shorts, Duo was standing in front of those twin windows, watching the sun cross the sky. He turned and I saw the leap in his expression, the lick of lips, and the hitch in his breath. It wasn't a deliberate decision to wear as little as possible. I wanted to cool down as quickly as possible, and if what I wore heated Duo up, I saw it as an additional benefit.

"Hey," he croaked.

"Hey." I smirked and tossed the towel over the back of one of the breakfast bar stools. "How long were you waiting?" I asked, coming closer.

"Not too long," he muttered, looking back out the window, but casting darting glances my way. "You said I could visit whenever I wanted, and… I didn't know you were going to be out."

I released a long breath, and faced Duo, standing in front of him to block his view out the window. "I'm 'out' every Friday evening," I started. "Tuesdays and Fridays, from six to nine, I teach basic computer skills at the ALC."

"Basic… teach?" Duo frowned, but then, his expression cleared. "That guy, Tim. You're teaching with him?"

"In a sense, yes." Duo's eyes narrowed to slits in an instant. "He's the assistant director for the center, and is charge of staffing the courses."

"And how did you become a part of his _staff_?"

"We met, I helped him out, and he told me of the bind he was in." There was a certain hostility coming from Duo I'd never seen before. Cutting and dark. "It sounded interesting and since I wasn't doing anything on Friday evenings—" Duo let me get no farther.

"Not doing anything! Shit, Heero. We've had Friday nights booked for years, and suddenly, you're no longer around."

My mouth clenched shut, teeth biting on words that wanted to escape. "I could say the same of you," I said softly.

Duo shut his mouth so fast I heard his teeth click. "That's different." His arms folded across his chest. "At least I don't have some perverted academic lusting after me."

"Perverted academic?" I choked out, retracting from him. "Tim?" The very idea alternately repulsed me and made me want to laugh outrageously.

"Yeah, Tim. Mister 'Sucker-born-every-minute' himself. I saw the way he was checking you out." Duo's finger stabbed at my chest. "He wants a piece of your ass."

"Tim?" I asked for confirmation again, and at Duo's sharp nod, I had to laugh. "You better not let his wife know. She'd be upset."

His anger deflated; his face scrunched in confusion. "Wife? He's married?" I nodded. "Well, shit."

"Duo," I called softly. He didn't want to meet my gaze, but I called out to him again. The embarrassment he felt was evident on his cheeks. "Were you… jealous?" I asked cautiously.

Duo barked a short laugh. "Damn right, I'm jealous! I was counting on those Friday nights, you know." His mouth twisted up in a wry grin. "Then I find you getting all sweated up with some good looking guy, what am I supposed to think."

Shaking my head, I didn't bother to answer but leaned into him, resting my forehead against his. "I promise that after this course run, I will keep Friday night's clear for you from now on."

His eyes were so blue in the sunlight coming through the window; I held my breath, waiting for what he'd do next. His hand was on my waist, his palm warm on my skin. His lips parted, and I felt the wash of breath rush over my mouth, parting to cross my cheeks.

"I can live with that," he whispered, keeping his tone low. I felt the kiss on the air between us. But, his lips closed, and his eyes followed. His arms encircled my waist, and he crushed me into his body. "I've missed you, Heero," he murmured into my ear.

Lifting my arms, I embraced Duo tightly, let my eyes close as I breathed him in, felt his hair tickle the side of my face, let his breath warm the skin on my throat.

"Missed you, too."

"Are you planning to move back?" Duo was still murmuring into my neck.

"Maybe," I stalled, not wanting to talk about that just yet. "Probably."

"Christ, Heero." Duo's hold tightened. "What can I do to bring you back home? Name it."

I closed my eyes tighter; debated the wisdom of giving him my demands; doubted that I might not be able to follow through just yet if he was agreeable to them. "Not yet, Duo. Not yet."

"Shit," he said, pulling away, but leaving his hands around my waist. "Not yet, you won't move back? Not yet, what?"

Running a palm up and down his arm, I smiled softly. "Not yet, I'm not ready," I told him. "Not yet, you're not ready."

His eyes clouded, and I had the idea he knew what I would ask of him. I felt the shudder, as slight as it was, and I saw the shift in his eyes.

"No, not yet." His hands squeezed at my waist, then fell away. "Are you okay with me asking you, my friend, out for something to eat? Maybe find a late night movie we can catch after?"

I lowered my arms and offered a slight grin. "I can live with that."

* * *

Saturday afternoon was becoming evening, and I stood in the small space between Trowa's dining room and living room. Drinking from the cold bottle of water from out of the refrigerator, I surveyed the room. Taped and labeled boxes lined up along the walls, waiting on the moving truck expected Monday morning. Most of his furnishings were pushed out of the way, regulated to the far corner of the room, waiting for the donation truck – also on Monday.

In less than a handful of days, Trowa's life in the apartment would be over. His presence at once comforting and disquieting would no longer be readily assessable; the neutral zone his home had always offered, more than a trip across town. Hearing the light laughter from the master bedroom down the hall, I knew my loss was nothing when compared to what he – and Quatre – would be gaining.

Finishing off my water, I tossed the bottle in the recycle box, and headed back to Trowa's guest room. The room he'd been using to store boxes, and items to ship off planet. The double bed that once took up the majority of space had been taken apart, the mattress, box springs, and headboard leaned upright against the wall. The chest of drawers was empty, I already knew, since I'd been the one to empty it. But, after spending a couple of hours in the room, most of the boxes, totes, and larger items he planned to ship were now in the living room.

From across the hall, I could hear Duo teasing his soon-to-be ex-partner, and heard Quatre's laugh. I glanced out the open door, wondering what it was this time; wondered if I should give up on the last two or three boxes the room had yet to yield and spend Trowa's last hours on Earth with him.

I gave a little shake, and moved to the closet. In his early days of packing, Trowa has shoved the first boxes up on top of the closet shelf. 'Out of the way,' he'd told me. 'Pain in the ass to get down,' I thought as I reached up over my head and tugged on a box.

Its give was unexpected, its weight overbalancing me, causing me to stumble backwards. I was expecting to land on my ass with the small, heavy cardboard box landing on me. I wasn't expecting to be brought up short by a solid wall of flesh behind me. And I certainly wasn't expecting a pair of arms to circle my waist, with hands taking a firm grip along my own on the box.

I gasped softly; turning my head slightly, I confirmed who my body told me was my 'savior'. Duo was looking at me with his grin wide and friendly, and his eyes shining.

"Now that I've caught you," he murmured quietly, "what am I going to do with you?"

Suddenly, swallowing was a hard concept, and breathing nearly impossible. I knew what I wanted him to do, and a simple flip of the bed in the corner would facilitate that wish. Still, a quick fuck wasn't what I wanted. To again become another notch on Duo's leather belt was out of the question.

Giving him a returning grin, I told him, "These are catch and release waters. Afraid there's not much you can do at the moment."

"Right," he intoned. But his arms remained around me, and he buried his face into my neck. I closed my eyes in response, letting my head fall back on his shoulder, and released the stiff tension that had gripped my muscles upon his words.

With a sigh, he brushed a light kiss against the skin on the side of my throat, and straightened. "I guess being a man of the law I should follow them, mmm?" I gave a slight nod, not wanting to agree.

"You have hold of the box now?" He asked, and I felt his hands loosen their grip beside mine. Giving him a positive answer, I was suddenly supporting all of the box's weight. "I'll let you go now," he said softly. "For now."

"For now?" I asked, turning to watch him back away several steps, giving me room to maneuver.

He tilted his head to the side, a soft smile on his lips. "Until you're out of these waters."

"And if it takes awhile?" I asked quietly.

"Then it takes awhile," he answered with a shrug and a wink. "Are you planning to hang onto the box until Monday?"

I shook my head and laughed, exiting the room to drop the box off on top another stack.

* * *

The sun was setting, the evening on the cusp of night, and my phone rang. I stared at my cell for a moment, wondering who it was, and noting it wasn't the ringtone Duo had chosen for his number. After leaving Trowa's, I'd returned to the apartment, showered, and pulled the easy chair next to the window. My attention alternated between the book I was reading and the sky outside the window.

The cell rang again, and I flipped it open with a neutral sounding greeting.

"Heero!" Meloney. "How's it going?"

"Good," I said, setting my book aside. "Sounds like you're having a party."

"What?" She shouted, and then laughed. "The student group is holding a party, and the noise is kind of loud."

I chuckled, knowing she couldn't hear it. "I got that idea." Getting to my feet, I headed for the kitchen, thinking a beer sounded nice.

"Listen, Heero. I just wanted you to know that I'm not coming back on the fourth, like I thought."

"You're not?" I froze, hand clutching a beer, hip holding the fridge door open, and my other hand suddenly gripping my cell. "When will you—"

"No, I'm not." The noise bleeding through the speaker stopped instantly, and Meloney sighed in relief. "Jeff found me a nice quite corner."

"Jeff?" Shutting the fridge, I twisted off the bottle cap, and headed back to my seat. "Meloney, I think you might have had too much to drink."

She laughed, light and free, and sounded much younger than I remembered. "I'm drunk, Heero, but not by anything alcoholic." Meloney practically purred into the phone. "I've met someone."

"Oh," I answered with a grin. "As in, 'he's so cute I want to dish him up with ice cream'? or 'he's the one I'm taking home to mother.'?"

"As in, I'll be the one being taken home to mother." Her laugh burst forth again, short though it was, and it ended with a choked sob. "Oh God, Heero. What the fuck am I going to do?"

"Knock her socks off," I replied immediately. She laughed again without the near hysterical edge, and I asked quietly, "Do you love him?"

"Yes," she breathed at me.

"And he loves you? And you're sure?"

"Yes and yes. I'm scared half to death, and frightfully happy, I want to sing and dance, and throw up."

I leaned back and stared out at the darkening sky. "I know the feeling."

Her tone sobered immediately. "Duo?" I made an agreeing noise, and she asked, "How has it been? Better?"

"Yes, much better." I thought of that afternoon, of Duo's arms circling me, of his words, and the sincerity behind them. "I think I'm the hold out now."

"That sure of him?"

I nodded, though I knew she couldn't see it. "He scares me, what he makes me feel." I drew a deep breath and let it out. "But, I need him."

"I know," Meloney said softly. "I know what you mean." Then she laughed again. "We're a couple of love-sick fools, aren't we my friend."

Smiling easily, I raised my beer in salute. "Better than to never have been one at all."

"I need to return to the party now, but I wanted to let you know that I'll be spending an extra couple of weeks at Jeff's. The place is yours if you need it."

"Thanks, Mel. I'm not sure how much longer I will need it, though." She gave me a hurried goodbye, and hung up before I could reply with my own.

I took another drink from my bottle, reviewing our conversation, remembering Duo's look when he understood what I was going to ask from him. It might not be time yet, but it was getting closer.

* * *

Friday night, while Duo and I were at the movies, Wufei had called to let me know he'd returned. In his message, his voice sounded weary, and his words confirmed it. He let me know that he was home and off special detail, that he would be spending most of Saturday sleeping, shopping, sorting mail, cleaning, and doing laundry, but he requested that I join him for an early dinner Sunday evening. One of his Chinese special dinners.

My answering call went directly to voice mail, and I accepted his invitation, confirming the time he'd requested my presence. I had to speak to him about the job offer, gauge his response, and base my acceptance or decline on what I knew of what he didn't say.

Several times over the weekend, I had wanted to broach the subject with Duo. But, until I talked with Wufei, until I knew what I as going to do, I hesitated. Late afternoon on Sunday, I headed out, trying to not think too much on what I wanted to happen.

Wufei owned a condominium on the renovated side of town. Sitting on the corner of the block in the middle of a five-block center 'reclaimed' by housing and city civic leaders, looking to lessen the blight time, war, and poverty brought to the area. Wufei was the only one of us who owned a bit of grass and a garden on Earth. He met me at the door, and waited while I removed my shoes, before leading me to his kitchen.

"Have a seat," he said, gesturing to my traditional place at his table. "I'll begin dinner in just a moment." He brought the tea tray and sat it on the long, narrow granite island in the middle of the large kitchen.

"No hurry," I told him, taking my seat, and accepting the cup of tea he poured for me. Dinner at Wufei's was a ceremony, without rush, without negative chi.

He took his place on the opposite side of the island, his head bowing in offering over his cup before drinking. The brief homage complete, Wufei stared at me sharply.

"You are still living in that woman's apartment?"

I nodded in agreement. "For now," I said, unconsciously repeating Duo's words.

"Have you decided what you're going to do?"

"No, not yet." I picked up my cup and sipped slowly.

"Have you looked into making the move permanent?" he asked, and I recognized the interrogation tone he often used with suspects, the one that entreats a person to spill what they know.

Smiling wryly, I looked over at him. "I haven't made that decision yet, and when I do, Duo will be the first to know." Wufei snorted softly, knowing I'd caught him out. "I'm not sure making it permanent will be necessary," I offered quietly, maintaining eye contact.

"Why is that? Has he said anything?"

"It's Duo. He's always saying something." Wufei barked a short laugh. my thoughts returned to Friday evening and Duo's expression then, and I thought of his actions, his words that hinted promise of what was to come. "No, not directly," I answered honestly. "But, I think it's only a matter of time."

"Your business is none of my concern, but I wish you both prosperity and happiness."

With a graceful move, Wufei rose from his seat, and moved to the large six-burner stove, a wok perched off to the side, and implements of his craft hung from a rack overhead. A small stockpot simmered on one back burner, and the bamboo dim sum steamer topped another pot.

Wufei stood before the drop counter grill, testing the heat of the coals, and gave a nod of approval. "Ready for grilling," he said, giving me a look before uncovering a glass dish and laying two small whole fish on the grill. The room instantly filled with the light seasoning Wufei used to marinate the fish. My mouth was watering before he moved down to the stove.

His grilled fish was one of my favorite of his traditional meals, and he knew it. He gave me another look and began gathering the ingredients for stir-fry. "No hot pot today," he said, turning the gas flame up high on a front burner.

"Too hot," I agreed, sipping my tea, and testing the scent on the air, comfortable to watch.

Oil sizzled as each ingredient was added, and Wufei's body shook as he swirled the wok over the flames. Resting the dish its burner, he shifted down to the grill, flipped the fish with chopsticks, and was back to the wok, tossing the ingredients once more.

On the counter beside the stove was a tray, a large serving bowl centered, two smaller bowls to one side, and the long fishplate on the other side. With a flourish of hand and wrist, Wufei lifted the wok, and transferred its contents to the serving bowl. In a few short minutes, soup was poured into its waiting bowls, rice was produced, the dim sum basket added to the tray, and the fish plucked from the grill.

Dinner was served.

More tea was poured, and we began to eat, began to talk of Trowa's immediate departure, of work, and of our temporary assignments. I held off mentioning the director's offer, waiting until after our meal was finished. Listening to him speak of his assignment, I had the idea that he enjoyed it, and that he wouldn't be opposed to accepting another temporary assignment position again.

Sitting back, I replaced my chopsticks on their rest. "You have honored me with a fine meal," I told him.

Wufei finished off his rice and pushed his bowl away. "You honor my house with your presence," he answered formally.

"Duo will be unhappy he missed this," I said, thinking of the meals shared in the past.

"Bring him with you next time," Wufei told me immediately. "If I had been thinking, I would have invited him myself." He stood to refresh the teapot, and clear the communal tray. "Having said that, I did want to speak with you about another matter."

Brought up sharply, I frowned. "If dinner was to soften an imagined blow, it must be something I won't care for."

He inclined his head, and poured me another cup. "I believe it might cause some… agitation."

"Does it have to do with Duo?" I barked out sharply, taking Wufei aback.

"No!" He stated emphatically. "It's about… something else."

I settled back immediately, wondering at my assumption. "I too have some possible agitating news as well."

Wufei waved to me with his teacup. "My news can wait a moment longer. Your news first."

It was time, and I sought the solitude of my partner's friendship, of his steady and fair-minded attitude. "I've been offered a position on the Jump Squad," I said in a rush, watching Wufei as I spoke.

A rueful laugh wasn't what I was expecting.

"You, too?"

"You mean—" I paused.

"Oh not on the Jump Squad," Wufei hurried to answer my unspoken question. "I was asked to join the security task force commission as a permanent consultant." It was his turn to pause, to gauge my reaction.

"And you want to accept?" I asked with a small smile.

"Yes," he answered simply, his eyes never leaving mine. "And you? You want to accept this offer as well?"

I nodded. It was over, our paradigm was coming to an end; we each were moving in new directions. A bittersweet pill and one I swallowed with eager regret.

"What does Duo think about the offer?" Wufei asked, dropping his gaze to stare into his tea. A pill of his own to swallow?

"I haven't spoken to him of it yet." At Wufei's look, I added quickly, "I wanted to discuss it with you first." An eyebrow arched, and my lips twisted up on one side. "If you had any objections, I would have declined the offer, and there would have been no need to potentially upset Duo."

"And now that you have your answer from me?"

"Acceptance will still be based on Duo's reaction," I said firmly, and ran a hand through my hair. "He's been unsettled by all the changes I've handed him the past couple of months."

Wufei snorted. "He's an adult, Heero. He'll adapt."

A long sigh and I stared at the marbled tabletop. "If I want a partnership with him, a relationship, there has to be open discussion on opportunities that can impact both of our lives."

"You are correct," Wufei apologized immediately. "I retract my less than considering comments."

I glanced at my watch, noting the time. "If you don't mind, I would like to leave early," I told Wufei. "I have to give my response in the morning, and I don't know how Duo's going to take it. How long I'll need with him before work."

"Go, Heero." Wufei stood, preparing to walk me to the door. "Even if I accepted the position tomorrow, it wouldn't take affect for two more weeks."

"Then I'll call you tomorrow evening before work," I offered, and slipped on my shoes. "Goodnight, my friend, and thank you for dinner."

His head inclined slightly. "We will gather together again, soon," he promised, and I left his home feeling less troubled, less bereft.

* * *

It took several minutes for Duo to answer my knock, and for a moment, a stab of misery jolted through me. I should have called, should have made sure Duo was alone, wasn't busy.

But, his hair was tousled, his shirt rumpled and pulled free from his shorts, and as he opened the door, he was rubbing sleep from his eyes. "Heero?" he questioned, waving me inside the apartment. "What's wrong? And why the hell didn't you use your own key – it is still your apartment, too."

Flushing, I waited at his side for him to close the door. "I—didn't think of that." Had it been so long that I'd forgotten it was my home, too? Maybe it was time I returned.

"So, what do I owe this surprise visit?" Duo asked, scratching lazily on his stomach.

I watched his hand for a moment, but raised my eyes to his when he cleared his throat. He was smiling softly, no longer blurry-eyed. I flushed again, but barreled on. "I need to talk to you about… well, a situation's come up, and I want to discuss it with you."

Duo's eyes went wide, and then narrowed, becoming guarded a moment later. He wet his lips, and gestured toward the kitchen. "Let's find a seat first, okay?" Turning away from me, he led the way. "My short power nap turned into a four-hour session, and I'm thirsty."

"I didn't mean to wake you," I said, following behind him.

"It's okay. I needed to get up." He held up a can of cola and a bottle of water. I took the water, opened it, and dropped into my usual chair at the table.

"Since when did you start taking naps?" I teased gently, liking the rumpled, slightly confused look he wore answering the door.

"Since I had the shit kicked out of me," he retorted, taking his usual seat, and popping the tab on the soda he chose. "I haven't needed one in awhile, but with moving boxes yesterday, and the extra PT hours today…" He took a deep drink, sighing with satisfaction when he swallowed.

For the third time since my arrival, I found myself flushing, and I couldn't meet his eyes. In the past few weeks, I'd become self-centered. "It seems impossible, but I'd forgotten."

"Hey now," Duo said softly, his hand touching my arm. "You're not here everyday. You haven't been seeing me at my worst since the hospital." His fingers continued to caress the skin over my wrist. "I'm rather glad you've forgotten. Means I must be shoring up better than ever."

"Or I'm just blind and narrow focused," I snorted, but gave him a smile for the attempt.

Not agreeing, but also not disagreeing, Duo smirked and took another drink. "So, what is this _situation_ that you needed to rush over here to see me about?"

I stalled for a minute, phrasing how I wanted to introduce the subject to him, and lining up my arguments for his imagined ones. Taking a deep breath, I told him. I started with being called into the division director's office; I told him of the director's offer; what the job description included. And I ended with the dinner with Wufei.

"On the Jump Squad, huh?" Duo asked. He'd been quiet the entire time, giving a nod or a shake of the head to show he'd heard, that he was listening. His eyes were shuttered, and his face expressionless.

"Yes." I kept my answer simple.

"You want this, don't you?"

I lowered my eyes to watch his hands. He wasn't giving me anything to gauge his reaction, but his hands were relaxed, holding his cola can easily. "Yes, I do," I answered, meeting his eyes again. "But, if you had any valid objections, I would reconsider."

His eyes widened, and a short smile touched his lips. "You would, wouldn't you?" He let out a chuckling breath, shaking his head. "Damn, Heero. You are in this deep."

"Over my head," I told him.

His hand touched my wrist again, and he turned his face away from me to frown at the wall. A minute or two ticked by, and I could almost see the thoughts churn in his mind. His lips twitched, breaking the mild frown he wore.

"You know what's so ironic about this situation?" He asked, quietly.

"Wha—" I cleared my throat and tried again. "What's that?"

Duo shot a glance my way, turning back to his contemplation of the wall a moment later. "About a month after Trowa moved down, I was approached by one of the Jump Squad captains." His smile was rueful.

"He wanted me on his team. But the timing was off. There was a lot of training I'd have to go away for, and we were still sorting through what was going on with Trowa 'n Qat. You and Wufei were neck deep in that UA op from hell." He laughed roughly.

"You never said anything—" I began only to be interrupted.

"Of course not!" Duo glared at me. "You would have accepted for me. Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead." He dropped his gaze to his hands, and said in a calmer voice, "I've been asked a couple of times since. Even thought about bringing it up with you, but it never seemed to be the right time, you know?"

"So, are you telling me not to accept—?"

"No," Duo interjected strongly. "I'm actually going to tell you to go for it." The smile he gave me was simply Duo, and I knew his words to be true and sincere. "But, I just wanted you to know that if I'm asked again, I'm going to jump on it."

"Then we'd be working together," I concluded in a hushed voice.

His fingers were caressing my wrist again. "Could you handle it, Heero? Being right there as we're going through hell, chest deep in the blood, and shit, and vomit?"

I grimaced, but slid my arm down to take his hand in mine. "You make it sound so attractive, how could anyone refuse." He chuckled, and watched me closely.

Inhaling deeply, I stopped to give it some thought. Duo was right; he would be in it deep, no matter what 'it' happened to be. Every mission would put him in harm's way each jump, each raid, each landing. I wasn't ignorant. I knew his position as a field agent held the same potentials, but I was rarely ever faced with Duo in danger.

And then I remembered working with him in ops command to bring him in safely. I could do this, and facing him again, I nodded slowly. "I wouldn't always like it, but yes, I could handle it." I gave his hand a squeeze. "And if we're working together, I would be the ops control in charge to bring you back safe." _to me_.

"Then it's settled?"

I nodded again. "I believe so, yes." Duo leaned forward and swiftly kissed my lips.

"For luck," he whispered, drawing back again.

* * *

With little pomp, I met with the division director, and accepted the position. In five minutes, it was over, and in two weeks, and a trip to Human Resources, I would have a new job.

Duo was waiting in the hallway after I left the director's office, pretty much like Jana had the Friday before. He fell into step beside me, and offered to take me to breakfast to celebrate. I agreed, as long as it wasn't the HQ cafeteria.

A few minutes and a short walk later, he was sitting across from me at the waffle house two blocks from HQ. He asked how it'd gone, and if I'd been told anything more about the new position.

"Other than when the start date is, no. Salary, hazard duty differential, per diem, and change in benefits are to be discussed at my appointment with HR later in the week." I took a cautious sip of the coffee Duo ordered for me. "Three days of orientation, though."

"Yeah," Duo agreed adding a spoonful of sugar to his cup. "Ellison," he glanced up at me, "The captain I told you about, told me how they run you through course after course. Physical, confidence, small arms, HEs…" His lips twitched. "Psychological."

"And you thought you could pass?" I teased.

"Hey!" He protested, tossing the empty creamer cup at me. "Contrary to popular belief, all my faculties are fully functional, thank you."

A slant of light splashed over his shoulder, highlighting his hair and augmenting his smile. I felt the stutter in my chest, and I wanted to kiss him then, right there in the crowded restaurant amidst the soggy waffles covered in syrup and butter, and the bitter coffee in cheap white cups. I wondered how much longer I would be able to resist his plea, if he were to ask again. And mostly, I wondered why I wanted to any more.

"My orange for your thoughts," he said, plunking the chunky slice on the plate beside my own orange.

"You'll tell me, won't you, when Captain Ellison asks you again?"

His brow furrowed slightly, and I think he knew that wasn't what I'd been thinking. But he let it pass, and nodded. "I was thinking about dropping in on him this afternoon, see if he's still interested."

"You see him often?" Through the years, I'd discovered Duo knew Preventers from all branches, all divisions, and he generally made it a habit to 'visit' when he could.

He hummed noncommittally, chewing on a waffle piece. "Not so often, but he can tell a story, Ellis can. Used to be he'd look me up every three or four months. Now," he shrugged. "It's about every three or four weeks, and I'm hobnobbing up there more than he slums."

Interesting twist.

"Trowa flies out tomorrow?" I changed the subject.

"Yeah," Duo nodded. "Going to miss the fucker."

"We'll have to work out a schedule. To keep in touch." Duo nodded, taking another bite. "So many changes."

"And more to come," Duo quipped with a smile.

"Good ones," I said quickly.

"Hear, hear!" Duo chimed, rising his coffee cup. "Here's to only good changes from now on."

I smiled as I drank to his toast, as improbable as it was. But, each of the changes in our lives these past few weeks have been positive, even if they carried a share of pain with them.

Without pain, there was no growth. And that thought followed me into sleep that day, had me wonder how much growth would Duo and I continue to experience. There had been so much pain between us individually, and now, so much between us together.

* * *

It was becoming a habit of Duo's to wait for me after work, take me to breakfast, and leave me at the garage with a hurried kiss as he rushed upstairs to meet his PT appointment. It was new. It was exciting. And it was our time.

I'd asked him once after the third time, and his explanation had me wondering why I stayed away. 'I miss having breakfast with you, spending morning time with you." He'd said.

Soon, I decided. I would return home soon. That elusive ingredient was missing, but I felt it was close. That it was a matter of moments in the scheme of our lives.

After my last Friday night class, Duo met me at the Center, his rear perched on the hood of his car and in his hand he carried a small plastic bag bulging with movie discs.

"Meloney doesn't have a vidscreen or even a vidplayer," I told him, unable to stop myself from running a palm up his bare arm.

"What? She from the stone age?" Duo demanded.

"Hardly. She's a grad student, and whether it was personal preference or lack of available funds, I don't know."

"Well, if you're okay with it, we can go back to the apartment." Duo jumped off his car and his hand reached for me. "I promise to behave myself." His eyes twinkled, but his hand still slid from my waist to palm my butt.

I stepped closer to him, ignoring those behind us, those around us, leaned into him, and brushed my lips over his. "What if I don't behave?"

"Then call me the winner," he whispered. He kissed me then, slow and tender, with closed lips and a soft touch.

Sighing as I pulled back, I asked so very softly, "Does that mean we're ready?"

Duo crooked his fingers through my belt loops and tugged me closer. A hand slid free, and rubbed gently up and down my back. "No, not yet," he finally replied, hopeful regret tingeing his tone.

I nodded and gave him another kiss. "Then let's grab some pizza, and watch some movies."

/end part four

* * *


	5. Part 5: Head Over Feet

Title: Conjunctive Point

Pairing: Heero/Duo

Theme: Time of Day – night

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: BL, Language, Angst, sexual situation

Disclaimer: I own neither Gundam Wing nor Alanis Morissette's song title.

Notes: Written for the Summer 08, Stages of Love (an LJ community), this is the last of five stories for this theme.

* * *

**Head Over Feet**

There has been a few times in my life that I realized too late that I've done something I shouldn't have. Tonight was one of those times. Or, at least I thought tonight was. Like a replay of a similar night so many weeks ago, I found a table while Duo went to the bar for drinks. And like then, the music was loud, the dancers on the floor pressed front to back-to-back to front, and I was propositioned too often to join the requester in a dance, in a dark and quiet corner, in a drink.

I looked across the room toward the bar, hoping to spot Duo, hoping I hadn't made the mistake I was beginning to believe I'd made.

Last night, Duo's invitation was less threatening. We'd spent the evening watching movies like we used to, and Duo adding commentary to try to make me laugh, and me pretending to ignore him, or protest the inanity of the movie choice. After the third disc played out, Duo drove me back to Meloney's apartment, parked out front, and walked me to the door. He declined my offer to come inside, to have a coffee or tea. Instead, he leaned against the doorjamb, and slid fingers along the side of my neck to the back. Gentle pressure and Duo was kissing me with a soft brush of lips for a short minute.

"Come with me tomorrow," he asked softly, his mouth holding a small smile, and his hand still cupping my neck.

I was watching his lips, wanting another kiss, wanting more than a kiss. "Tomorrow?"

"To Bally's. I… want to dance with you." Humor twisted his lips up and made the skin around his eyes crinkle.

Visions of Duo dancing with the twink had me backing up, ready to tell him 'no'. With my back against the door, there was nowhere else for me to go. Duo's hand slid down my arm to catch at my wrist. His smile faded, and I was telling him 'yes'.

He left me standing there with another too short kiss, and a 'pick you up at eight' tossed over his shoulder.

I was still looking toward the bar when a beer slid in front of me, and Duo was there, leaning in close. "Had to go to the other bar. They had the Dunbarden." He pulled his stool next to mine, his leg pressed close from thigh to knee. "You're going to like the band tonight." He took a quick drink from his bottle, but his eyebrows wagged at me.

"Why is that?" I asked not trusting his expression, and looking toward the unlit recess.

"They play that progressive spacetrip crap you like."

Glaring at him only made him laugh harder. I'd have to have several more beers to make that music palatable, and Duo knew it. "Then I suggest you find another club—" I stopped talking abruptly when an arm came from behind me, and slid around Duo's shoulders.

"Duo," a silken voice murmured loudly. "It's been ages." A twink. One of those androgynous forms, too thin, too made-up, and usually drugged or drunk or both, was inserting itself between Duo and me, winding its body round Duo's to face him.

"Ah," Duo managed, pushing back from the table with his hands reaching for the figure's arms, trying to extricate himself. "Been busy, and I'm with someone." Duo nodded in my direction, and I tried to get rid of the stunned expression before the red lipped, glitter sprayed, and rainbow swirled eyes turned my way.

"Oh. I see." The red-pupils not found in nature swept me up and down. "Can I play, too?" The figure asked in a velvety voice, its colorful eye winking.

"No," Duo responded immediately in a firm voice, pushing the body half-draped over him into an upright position. "We were just leaving, actually."

"Leaving?" The mouth pouted, but the eyes didn't leave my face. "You're no fun any more, Duo. But this one…" A hand reached up, fingers extended, and Duo's hand gripped its wrist.

"No."

Raising my gaze from the long lacquered nails to Duo's face, I was surprised to see his jaw set in firm lines, his eyes hard and cold.

The twink pulled its wrist free with a twist and an obnoxious sigh. "I was only going to tell him how much better his eyes would stand out if he put a little kohl—"

"His eyes are perfect how they are – without artifice." Duo stood and reached for my hand. "Ready, Heero?"

With a glance at the sulking twink, I nodded and slipped off my stool. Duo pulled me from the club without a word or a look back. But I had, and spotted the twink leaning against our abandoned table, finishing off my beer, and watching us leave. I wanted to feel guilty, but I didn't. I searched for the unease the situation should have left me in, but it wasn't there. Instead, I wanted to laugh. Laugh for the slinky clown left on its own, for Duo's expression of surprise when it wrapped itself around him. But mostly, I wanted to laugh because Duo wanted to leave with me.

It wasn't until we reached the parking lot and were heading to his car that I tugged his hand for his attention.

"Who was that?"

Duo scowled at me, hearing the obvious amusement in my tone. He sighed, and threw an irritated look behind us, as though he could scour the memory clean. "Someone I used to dance with."

"Just one more question," I started, and his eyes became guarded. I gave him a smile, and squeezed his hand. "Is… it male or female?"

His laugh was worth the moment of discomfort.

**- & -**

The morning after my last night at Ops Command, Duo was waiting for me. He called Jana over, and invited her out to breakfast with us. I only gave him a look and shrugged at Jana's raised brow. Whatever Duo was up to, I hadn't a clue.

It should have dawned on me when Wufei caught up with us in hallway before the elevators; my excuse was the end of the shift, the end of a long week, and anticipation building going into a new position. But, it wasn't until I spotted Trowa and Quatre loitering in the front lobby, pretending interest in an abstract print hanging from the wall that I realized _something_ was up. Stopping abruptly, I turned a look to Duo.

"What?" He managed in an 'oh-so-innocent' tone that didn't fool anyone.

Instead of responding, I shook my head and gave his shoulder a jolt with my own. By now, Quatre was watching us, smiling, and Trowa was turning away from the awful product of someone's idea of art. I accepted the handshakes and congratulations from both before Duo was pushing us toward the door, demanding sustenance before he faded away.

I was to start my new position the following Monday, and from what I'd been told, it would be days of assessments, mental and physical, followed by weeks of training (or re-training in my case). Breakfast felt more like 'Last Supper' than 'congratulations'.

It was in the middle of Duo stealing a sausage link off my plate, and Jana's innuendo-laden comment that Quatre laid his fork down and _smiled_ at me. Not one of his congenial smiles or 'I'm-just-being-polite' type smiles, but one of his genuine 'all is right with the world' smiles. I knew what he was going to ask before he opened his mouth, and gripped my fork in preparation.

"You've moved back home, then," he said, smiling his smile at me from across the table.

"No," I informed him, shaking my head, my fork decimating what remained of my egg.

Duo's hand was on my leg under the table. "Won't let him," he announced grinning in the sudden silence. "I need another week—" his eyes flicked in my direction and back "or two of perfect solitude—"

"Perfect?" Wufei snorted, breaking any remaining discomfort. "The day Maxwell and perfect are used in the same sentence—"

"Hey!" Duo cried out. But he was grinning, and the grip I had on my fork eased. "I'll have you know I've been told I have 'perfect' ass—"

"I don't want to know!"

"—sets," Duo concluded with a laugh.

Giving Duo a short smile, I glanced at Wufei. "His ass isn't bad either." Wufei's palm met his face, and Jana's abrupt laugh had coffee spitting over the table.

"Thanks, babe," Duo leaned close to murmur.

"Anytime," I murmured back. He smiled and I felt the physical tug in my gut, the one telling me to be closer, to kiss him, to let him know without words where exactly he stood in my world. But instead of lips meeting, I dropped my hand to cover the top of his still on my thigh, and I squeezed it gently.

His hand turned, and he threaded his fingers inside mine. "Remind me to show my appreciation of _your_ 'perfect assets' one of these days." Duo's eyes were as blue as a clear winter sky just before dusk, and he had them focused on me, shining with an emotion I had believed to have been there months before.

"Soon," I choked out, tightening my hold on his hand.

Breath released in a rush, Duo nodded, and squeezed my hand back. The moment was ours and no one else existed. I would have ran back to Meloney's, tossed my things in garbage bags, and had them back at Duo's – _our_ – place before the others had finished breakfast if Duo gave the word. But. He was working his way through something, something he hadn't done before, and I wanted to give him the time he needed. Once I moved back, I wasn't planning to leave again.

He brushed his thumb across the back of my hand, and it felt more intimate than the wild joining we'd displayed all those weeks ago.

It was Jana's laughter and Quatre's that quickly following that pulled me back into focus on just where we were. With a quick glance, I saw that the conversation had moved from Duo (and his perfect assets) to Wufei's new job, and the improbable incidences he'd already been made privy.

Quatre's initial assessment of the situation was inaccurate, but only by scant measure. My life wasn't 'all is right in the world' quite yet, but, sharing a quick smile with Duo, I knew it was _right_ for the moment.

**- & -**

After sleeping most of the day, Friday was spent with friends – The Five were together. Dinner out and after, a decent pool hall with a dozen tables and low-keyed music. The beer on tap was cold, in quantity, and went down smooth. We traded partners, and singles, swapped tables and stole cues. Stories were told – some were fabricated on the spot – and predictions on sport event outcomes were made. No one spoke of work or of relationships or of our involvement in the war. We were five male friends spending a Friday night together with a beer in one hand and a cue stick in the other.

At least we were until it came time to say goodnight and goodbye. Brief hugs were exchanged, and promises to visit made. I offered no assurance as to when, not knowing what was in store over the next few months in the new position. But, the first long weekend, I told Quatre, I would catch the next available shuttle. Duo amended my pledge to include himself on the invite.

We were the last to leave, standing side by side in the parking lot, watching the taillights of Wufei's car wink out of sight, Quatre and Trowa gone long before. It was warm outside, with enough of a breeze to keep it from being too warm, and at half past midnight, the place was nearly empty, the traffic on the street out front at a minimum.

It could have been the pseudo privacy of the moment, or the half dozen beers I'd drank, but when Duo took my hand, I let him pull me to my car; let him push me up against the driver side door; let him lean in and kiss me as though no one could see us. Whether it was the alcohol talking or Duo's influence, I was kissing him back. With his ass in my hands, I couldn't pull him close enough, and feeling that his cock was as hard as mine was, I cursed the thickness of denim.

If it hadn't been the startlingly loud roar of an engine coming to life from a truck a couple of rows over, I don't doubt that in minutes, Duo and I would have been inside on the backseat of my car, finding our way to release. As it was, we both broke apart, but still held onto one another. Duo lowered his head to my shoulder, his breath hot and heavy against my neck. My hands rose to his back and, dropping my head back to rest on the roof of the car, I stared up at the stars, wishing we hadn't been interrupted, thankful that we had been.

"Fuck," Duo mumbled. His breathing was returning to normal, and I felt his hands withdrawing from the inside of my shirt. "That could have been…awkward."

I made an agreeable noise. "Public Indecency, Indecent exposure, public lewdness," I murmured, lifting my head to smirk at him. "I can't understand how that would create awkwardness."

He laughed like I knew he would, and he took a step back, his hands still at my waist, but leaving a couple of inches between our bodies. "It _would_ make for interesting water cooler gossip."

"Maybe we should…" I started, glancing at my car and back to Duo's face. "Would you like to…" Hell. We were already dating, in a way, and I couldn't ask him over to stay the night or invite myself into his bed.

"I would like nothing better," Duo told me, but he extracted himself from me, leaned in, and gave me a fleeting kiss. "But, I do have to go into work in the morning."

"What? On a Saturday?" I asked, reaching for his belt loops and hooking a finger through.

"Special ops planning." Duo glanced down at my hand, but smiled, and didn't pull away. "A team is being formulated to deploy in the next day or two, and I have to put together full dossiers on a couple of operatives I've worked with in the past."

Again with a non-verbal noise. This meant that he should have left at least an hour ago, if not more. "So, no on breakfast in the morning?"

He shook his head. "I'll take a rain check on one though." It was then that he looked at his watch and frowned. "I'm not sure when I'll be finished, but we can get together when I'm done?"

I nodded and let go of him. "Tomorrow if you can," I confirmed. "How about Sunday?"

"Probably will be around." He was smiling softly, and tossed his hair back from out of his eyes. "I'll give you a call when I get a chance, okay?"

Nodding again, I reached behind me and opened the car door. "I have to stop by the apartment and pick up a few uniforms, gym equipment. Do you want me to wait—"

"No," Duo interjected. "It's still your home, Heero." His hand was stroking my arm in short soothing caresses. "I have to warn you, though; I probably won't be there until late tomorrow night. Unless a breakthrough of some sort happens, it's going to be a long day."

"I know," I assured him. "I understand." He needed to head home, but I also understood why he was still standing there. For the same reason I was still standing there. I didn't want to tell him good night. "It's going to be six in the morning soon," I reminded him. "Go home. Get some sleep. We'll talk tomorrow, if only over the phone."

It was his turn to nod, but in a quick move, he dove in for a kiss and spun away. "Tomorrow, Yuy."

Still standing at the open car door, I watched Duo climb in his car, start it up, and back out of his parking slot. He paused for a wave and a brief honk of his horn as he passed. Giving his disappearing presence a wry smile, I let myself drop into the driver's seat and start my own car.

Meloney's apartment was becoming too small, too silent.

**- & -**

Duo managed to call late Saturday, if only to let me know the situation had gone hot. He was now part of the planning crew, and in charge of the team's immediate deployment. The urgency of the situation and the interrupted knowledge transfer made Duo the team's go-to expert. As such, he had to be on-hand to walk the OC through territory and agent histories. I hung up with another promise of a call when he got the chance.

_Sometime tomorrow,_ he had said. _We really need to talk, and soon. Before…"_ and I could almost hear him think about what he wanted to say. _"before this continues much further."_

I understood what he was and wasn't telling me, but hearing the 'let's talk' phrase kept me awake for most of the night. The situation was coming to a point where we had to talk, to put voice to what we both had been flanking. The goal was the same for him as it was for me, of that I was certain. I did not want another 'Monday Morning After' of regrets.

He managed a two-minute call mid-morning on Sunday, and that was only to let me know he'd made it home, that his participation in the mission was complete, and that he was going to bed. I spent the rest of the day readying uniforms, repairing equipment or finding suitable replacements, and watching the minute hand crawl over the clock's face.

Determining I was as prepared as I could be, I decided to go for a run, and brought my cell phone with me. Just in case. I had barely made the sidewalk when it rang, and finding it was Duo on the other end, I nearly ran back up stairs to take the call.

"Hey," he said immediately after my greeting. "I just wo—" A loud yawn interrupted him.

"Do you need more sleep?" I asked, leaning back against the outside wall of the apartment building.

"Yeah," he agreed, and I could hear the exhaustion in his voice. "I was hungry," he added, and immediately the sounds I'd been hearing in the background made sense. "Taking time out to eat, and take a piss, then I'm going back to bed." I barked out a laugh. Elegant Duo was not. "You could join me, you know." He offered softly. "I'm having peanut butter and jelly – I'll even make one with your favorite jelly."

"I've had lunch." But the longing to see him had me wanting a sandwich, even if I didn't eat it.

"You could come to bed with me," he slipped in slyly. "Though I have to warn you, I'm not up for anything but sleep."

A pleased sound made its way out of my mouth; an afternoon nap would be nice. But. "I might not be able to let you sleep," I finally said. "And you need to sleep."

Another yawn. "Yeah."

"How did it go?" I asked to change the subject, attempting to banish images of Duo in sleep.

"Good," Duo said around a mouthful of sandwich. I heard the refrigerator door, and the sound of a pop-top opening. "The team was in and out, but there was a hell of a lot of mop-up to do."

I nodded to a woman and her young daughter as they passed. I thought she lived on the fourth floor, but lacked confirmation. "Rushed operations usually do," I agreed listening to him take a long swallow of his drink. "You need to drink water; not that carbonated sugar."

He deliberately smacked his lips with a gratifyingly pleased sound. "Next time," he promised. "What are you doing, since you don't want to sleep with me?"

Shaking my head, I grinned into the phone. "I was about to go for a run."

"Mmmm," he hummed, and the skin on my arms prickled. "Have you already done your stretches?" Duo was murmuring now, and by sound alone, I knew he was back in bed.

"Yes," I told him. "Quads, gluts, hams, and calves."

"I love it when you talk dirty to me." I laughed, and would have said more but Duo yawned yet again.

"Hold that thought for later," I advised and pushed off from the wall. "For now, sleep. I'll run, and we can talk later, got that?"

"Roger." He was nearly asleep, and it would take moments only for him to cross that threshold.

"Hang up, Duo. Call me when you wake again."

"Uh hummm," he murmured, and I doubted he really heard me. But, there was a click, and the line went dead.

I pocketed my cell and ran through a quick routine of stretches to remind muscles of what we were about to do. Even as I began my run with short striding steps, a gentle calm began infusing itself into routes oxygen traveled, through neuro-pathways, and the blood stream. Patience hadn't always been virtuous for me, but exercising more than muscle had its rewards.

When next he called, it was after eight. I was beginning to think we wouldn't be meeting after all. Duo kept the call succinct – "meet me in fifteen minutes at the north parking lot at Riverwalk Park," – he'd said. I had no sooner agreed than he hung up. Pulling on a shirt and slipping into my runners without socks, I grabbed keys and wallet off the desk, and left the apartment.

Duo was obviously waiting, had been waiting for some time, by the looks of it. I parked one slot over from his car in the nearly empty lot, and watched him for a long minute before getting out. He was sitting on the hood of his car, staring at the line of trees that blocked the view of the river. At least, that's the way it would appear to a casual observer.

Stopping in front of him, I touched his leg. Duo's eyes flicked to my face and away, a bare acknowledgement I had arrived. His eyebrows drew together, and he sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.

"Guess it's time, huh?" He asked, even as he slid from the car. "Come on," he said, taking my hand and tugging on it. "Let me buy you a lemonade, then we can find someplace quiet." I nodded and let him pull me along, across the parking lot and out onto the walking path.

The park started from simple beginnings; a dirt trail winding from the east end of town to the west, with large dirt patches at intervals along its path for parking. Those who fished had long taken advantage of the site, and a couple enterprising enthusiasts built a boat dock. A year later, a snack and tackle shack was added, and a parking lot paved. A few trees removed, playgrounds made, and patches of grass planted, voilà! Instant park and all around family entertainment.

The river walk was more than the park, with its playgrounds, picnic tables, boat dock, and small amphitheater. I came here often to walk its trails, sometimes run if it wasn't crowded. Possibly, it was the one public place I was most comfortable in lowering some of my ingrained defenses.

"Here." Duo held out a plastic glass of lemonade. He turned down the path as soon as I accepted it from him, and began walking. I followed more slowly, sipping the liquid level down to keep the overflow from spilling out over the rim.

The furtive look I ignored, letting Duo take his time. Instead, I drank lemonade, walked by his side, and let the sounds of the river soothe as they always did. We hadn't gone far before Duo was shifting his drink around and moving to my left side to take my hand. I looked at our clasped hands, and gave him a short smile. He gave me a tight little smile in return. Whatever it was Duo wanted to tell me, I knew then it was worst that I'd thought.

Another five minutes walking, and he nudged me off the path to a small vista overlooking the river. It was a place I was familiar with, making a point to watch the river flow during most park visits. Duo let go of my hand, finished the last of his drink, and threw it away. I went to the rail and leaned out over it, looking at the rocks below, the river beyond.

"I used to follow you here, sometimes," Duo said quietly behind me. I looked over my shoulder, and he was smiling softly. "You used to leave the apartment and disappear for hours. When you'd come back, you'd be so relaxed." His smile quirked up wryly. "Used to think you were off getting laid in some perverted way."

I laughed and turned watch him, back to the river. "That would be you, not me."

"Yeah, well." His eyes cut away from me to look over my shoulder as though he could see the far shore. "I couldn't _ask_, you know. So I followed you." He flashed me a grin and shrugged. "You came here, walked the path. Did nothing."

"It's…" I shrugged, unsure of how to tell him the power the river had on me. "Meditative. I'm able to think here."

He was nodding, no longer smiling. "Yeah, I got that after the third time." He twisted about to look at a copse of trees on the other side of the trail. "I hid there that time, watched you for over an hour." Duo was looking at me again. "You just stood there, watching the water." He flashed another grin. "I stopped following you after that. Figured if you wanted me to know, you would have said something."

"Duo…" his name elongated between us.

"Don't worry about it," he waved off my half-started apology. "We all need a little private time, and this is where you choose to do yours." His smile was wide for a moment. "At least it didn't involve whips, leather, and latex."

"Is that why we're here now? So you can tell me you followed—"

"No," he cut me off sharply with a hint of a frown. "No, nothing like that. I—" He looked out over my shoulder again. "I started to come here too, after that. It's peaceful and all that crap." His eyes flicked to mine and away. "Just thought being here would help," shrug "tell the story – the whole story."

Now I was frowning slightly. The ice in my cup shifted, and I used that as an excuse to move closer to Duo, to toss my cup away. "Duo," I kept my tone low, calm. "Nothing you say to me now will change what I feel."

His hand skimmed the inside of my arm, even as he chuckled slightly. "Careful who you offer that to; it might make a liar out of you."

"But not you," I insisted.

Duo shook his head slowly. "No, probably not. You know most of it, just not the dirty details."

"Okay." I took his hand, cupped our fingers together, and gave them a squeeze. "If you're ready?"

"Yeah," he sighed, and leaned into me for an instant. Taking his hand from mine, his look apologetic, he moved to the rail and grasped it in his hands. "You know all about me and Hilde hooking up, going into business, and getting serious, right?"

He wasn't looking toward me but the river; I added a verbal 'yes' to my nod.

"I…I thought I loved her, Heero." His voice dropped to a quiet somber tone, and I stepped closer to hear. "She was so pretty, so—fun. She was smart and cute, made me laugh." His knuckles were turning white on the rail, and I touched his shoulder.

"People grow up, change. It happens," I told him softly, but he shook his head sharply.

"No, it wasn't like that. I only let you believe that's what happened with us." The grin he flashed my way this time was wavering. "I didn't lie, since we were getting older, growing apart. That was only happening because of me, and what I was doing. Had nothing to do with Hilde."

Keeping the frown from showing, I nodded, encouraging him along and trying to recall that time, nearly six years before, when Duo was still living with her. I had only visited once in the time between the rebellion and Duo's move to Earth. And in the two days I was there, I saw nothing to show the discord that broke them apart. I'd always expected the next communication from either of them would be a wedding announcement.

"We were lovers," he said softly, wistfully. "My first, and God, I thought I'd gone to heaven." I nodded, though I couldn't claim the same with _my_ first. "I—we had such big plans. Expanding the yard, pulling in the big contracts. Getting married." Another wavering grin. "I wasn't even seventeen."

I looked out over the river, watched it flow. At the same time he was planning a future, I was still at a loss. Wandering from place to place, I was trying to decide what I wanted to do, what I wanted to be. There was no question of having anyone – no matter who they were – in my life, then. A friend, I could handle, but to have someone depending emotionally on me was not to be considered.

Duo inhaled deeply and exhaled just as strongly. "I was just a kid, then, and it hit me like a sledge hammer one night." The laugh he gave was humorless. "I'd just spent nearly twenty hours hauling shit, and was coming home and thought – This was going to be my life _for the rest of my life._" He took another big breath, but let it out slowly, his look thoughtful. "It took another couple of months, but no matter how I looked at it, nothing changed."

It was quiet for several minutes, and after stealing a look at Duo, I touched his hand. "You got… scared? Bored?"

A flashing smile and, "No, not exactly. Maybe I was scared or scared of getting bored. But even then, I knew something was missing. It didn't feel right any more. Like there was a hole," his hand rose to touch his chest, his gut. "Nothing was filling it, making it go away. Not Hilde, not working hours on end," he snorted softly. "Not the booze or even the drugs."

"What happened?" I asked, though I was getting an idea now.

He was silent again and when he spoke, his tone was vicious and full of loathing. "I started fucking anything and everything that'd have me."

_That_ shocked me. The brutal delivery, the rough tone, I jerked, and he registered the reaction.

"Yeah, I was a class A manwhore." He spun away from the rail and began to stalk down the path.

I swore softly and chased after him. "Duo, that isn't who you are, now. It doesn't have any bearing—"

"It has everything to do with _now_," he said savagely. "Don't you see Heero? I _loved_ Hilde. Was planning to spend the rest of my life with her, and look what that got me?"

Mouth opened to throw out another protest it clicked. He was afraid – had been afraid all this time. "You love me," I whispered.

His eyes closed and his head bowed. "Yeah. Congratulations."

I was smiling. I couldn't help it. Having faith in a belief proved did that to a man. "It's not the same," I reassured him. "Different people, different times, different situations. You have far too many options than you did then, and have the wisdom to know that, now."

He was looking at me now. "I know what you're saying Heero, but what happens when—" his eyes became pinched, "when it becomes the same as then… when it's not enough any more?" His voice dropped to a whisper.

The naked anguish was vivid in both voice and expression. His first days after Hilde slammed home. He had a dancing acquaintance with alcoholism in those days, and how many times, he would lament in drunken stupor his loss, what Hilde had meant to him. What they had was dead, burnt to ash, and spread across the galaxy.

"Duo." I reached for him then, pulled him into an embrace, and held him tight. "I won't let it happen," I promised.

"She hates me. Couldn't stand to be near me." He was breathing hard, much too fast. I stroked his back, made comforting noises, and held him. "I couldn't stand it if—if I lost you."

"You're not going to lose me. I'm not going anywhere."

"I nearly did already." His words were muffled into my shoulder; his respiratory distress was easing.

"Not lost, never that," I assured. He gained enough composure to give me a look.

"Moving out? Changing jobs?" Duo's eyebrow rose with every word. "Running away is supposed to be my thing, not yours."

I shrugged. "I wasn't running away, just putting in a little temporary distance."

Duo laughed, and it was a good sound. "Yeah, whatever you did, it worked."

"I didn't do that for you—" I started to protest, pulling away.

"I know. But it made me take a look at what I was doing, and how that was heading the same direction Hilde and me went." His cocky grin was back, twisting itself into self-depreciation. "The problem with using sex for fulfillment," he was looking at me, waiting for some kind of response, and I shook my head, not knowing where he was going. "It doesn't work. It _feels_ good for a few minutes, makes you believe that's all there is, but leaves you emptier than when you started." He drew a long stuttering breath.

"After I landed here, stopped drinking, and hitting the clubs, I—I found it. Just took me awhile to realize where _it_ was coming from." When he smiled, I kissed him in front of God and anyone watching. A minute past before he pulled away and tilted his head in silent invitation. "It's getting late."

Nodding, I released my hold on him, but kept his hand in mine. We started walking back toward the parking lot, and the silence this time was more relaxed. There were still issues between us, but Duo laid to rest what troubled me from the start. A little time and more talking, and I knew we wouldn't have the problem he and Hilde had.

We were crossing the parking lot, nearing the cars when I offered tentatively, "Do you want to come back with me?"

"No," Duo was already shaking his head. "You have early morning call, and I think I need to be alone for awhile." He gave my hand a squeeze, and flashed a smile. "Let's see how the next couple of days go, then make plans, k?"

"All right." I couldn't help the disappointment, but I did understand. He had dredged up a lot of buried garbage tonight, and muster was at six for me. It was already pressing ten. I didn't want to wash out before I started. "You'll call me," I asked softly, "if thoughts get…rough. If you start to question—"

"I will, promise." He tugged on my hand, pulled me into a brief hug. "I love you, Heero. I just don't want to fuck this up."

"You're not," I assured again, and kissed the side of his neck. "We're in this together, right?"

"Right." And pulling away, he gave me another smile. "Get your ass home, Yuy. Call me tomorrow when you've finished your first day."

"Roger that," I intoned, giving him a smile of my own.

I don't remember the drive home, or undressing for bed, but the dreams I had left me weak-kneed and waking with wet sheets.

**- & -**

When I had been warned evaluation days were going to be hell, I had brushed it off. No one had gone through the type of training I had, and the modified version I still put myself through. I was wrong to dismiss it without further investigation.

The physical endurance, agility, and mobility assessments I aced without pause. The regulations, procedures and policies, and ESUN Penal Code exams given between the physical tests were passed with near perfect scores. Marksmanship, weapons care and use, munitions recognition, and HE/Demolitions tests were performed without flaws.

It had been the psyche eval the second day in, that left me drained and crawling between the sheets without dinner. I had been put through worst, though not in many years. By the end of each session, I felt the loss of my mental wards keenly, and wondered when they'd faded away.

At the end of the third day, I wanted to crawl up the last flight of stairs to Meloney's apartment. I was longing for sleep, but knew I needed to eat, needed to keep myself moving, and not fall into the trap of losing energy upon arriving at 'home'. At least I'd made it inside, had taken off my uniform shirt and managed to drape it over the back of the desk chair. I'd even kicked off my shoes before deciding a short rest was worth the risk of losing forward motion.

I hadn't been sitting five minutes before there was a knock on the door. Staring at it in silence, I debated rising to answer, or putting up with another knock or two and ignoring it. Another knock followed by an amused if slightly exasperated voice.

"Come on, Heero. Answer the door already. I know you're there – your car's in the lot."

Only for him would I haul my ass up off the couch and let him in. I stood for a moment, half-leaning against the door, drinking in the sight of him. Sunday night had only been three days before, but felt a lifetime. Between my exhaustion and his assignment in assisting with the operations mop-up, we had only been able to talk together once. And I know I was barely coherent.

"I could have been out on a run," I finally told him.

But Duo only grinned. "If you can manage to run up and down the building stairs, I'll give you whatever you want, whenever you want it." There was a defining lift of his eyebrow, and a definite challenge in his eyes.

For a half minute, I seriously thought about pushing myself to beat his challenge. But, I had the idea that anything I'd want, he'd give it to me anyway, and I'd still be in shape to enjoy it. Instead of answering, I gave a shrug and stepped back, leaving him room to pass by.

He brushed close, sliding fingertips over the cotton of my tee shirt. I shivered, and stood in the open doorway watching him cross the living room to the table. It was only then that I saw he carried a plastic take-out bag from the Chinese restaurant down the block.

"You brought me dinner?" I asked, closing the door, and setting the lock before trailing behind him.

"Yeah," Duo said, pulling white cartons from the bag. "Thought you might want to eat, even if you feel like shit." He glanced up with a swift smile. "Even if you _look_ like shit."

"Thanks," I muttered mildly, feeling suddenly ravenous. I was more interested in what he'd brought than what he was saying. But, he leaned over, kissed my neck, and backed up.

"Smell like shit, too."

Pelting him with a fortune cookie was about all I could muster. "Let's see how fresh-as-a-daisy you are after being put through what I went through today."

He murmured something faintly agreeable, but tugged my hand away from opening a fragrant carton. "How 'bout you take a quick shower, get out of this uniform, and I make up a plate of you?"

I stared at him for a moment, and nodded. "Acceptable." But, I used his own hold on me against him, to pull him close and kiss his mouth, not letting go until I felt the need to breathe overriding the need to touch.

"Hmmm," Duo was murmuring again. "Maybe I should join you in the shower." He was smiling softly, his hands somewhere down around my waist. "Wouldn't want you to fall asleep and drown, would we?"

It was a tempting offer. Very tempting. But, I pulled away, shaking my head. "As much as I want you there washing my back, I better go solo this round." I gave him a quick kiss, and turned toward the bathroom. "Five minutes, Maxwell."

Not one of the quickest showers I'd ever taken, but it was fast. Enough to clean, if not soothe abused muscles and aching head. Dressed in a pair of shorts, I pulled on a tank top after a minute's hesitation; I knew Duo _enjoyed_ my shirtless state, but, he was there to feed me.

Besides, it took seconds to remove a shirt.

True to his word, Duo had plates ready, glasses poured, and …music? I turned to the source of the sound, and spotted a personal player, set up on the end table by the lamp. Giving Duo a look, he lifted a shoulder and offered a plate.

"A little background music helps dinner digest better," he said, leading the way to the couch and taking a seat.

Snorting quietly, I followed his example, sitting at his side with my plate on my lap, and water glass on the coffee table in front of me. Pepper beef over steamed rice and low-mien chicken, two menu items I ordered most often with take-out Chinese. Wufei would turn away in disgust.

As we ate, I let Duo dominate the conversation, guide its direction and tone. He began by telling me about the operation he'd been working clean up on. How he'd had lunch with Wufei the day before. Told me about Wufei's fancy new office in built-to-order satellite Preventers' building – the new multi-million credit structure close to the senate building, the ESUN government building, and the new UN consulate.

"I watched you today," he slipped in before forking a mouthful of rice into his mouth.

"What?" I sat blinking at him, not completely certain what I heard was what he said.

"Watched you," Duo confirmed, and took a long drink from his glass. "You were out on course nine." He set his plate on the table, and sat back with a satisfied sigh. "Best fucking run of the course I've ever seen."

Feeling warm, I gave him a small smile and pushed leftover rice around on my plate. I knew there were observers in the command tower, but I hadn't known I had an audience. "It was a challenging course," I stated, recalling the runs, the crawling, the climbs, the jumps, the hauling of training manikins, the swim.

"You were amazing," Duo murmured, suddenly close. His hand slipped up along my shoulder, and his fingers rubbed at the back of my neck. "I'm surprised you can move after that display."

I closed my eyes, and tilted my head. "You have the rest of your life to stop that," I told him, feeling the aches now.

"Here," he said softly, and the plate was pulled from my fingers. I watched him put it on the table, and then both of his hands were on my shoulders, his fingers digging deep.

A moan made its way up and out, and Duo's hand was pushing on me, guiding my body into turning, giving him better access. A minute passed, and he was tugging on the hem of my shirt, pulling it off over my head and tossing it somewhere. I didn't care; I wanted his hands back where they were and doing what they were doing.

Thumbs drew away lines of tension, knuckles kneaded tight muscles, and palms soothed oxygen soaked skin. The ceiling could have collapsed, and I wouldn't have cared. My world narrowed to Duo's hands on my back, his body behind me, his leg pressed along side mine, and somewhere in the background, music – something light without being saccharine.

Somewhere along the line, his hands gentled to caresses, and I felt his lips ghosting kisses in a random pattern. Shoulder and spine, neck and elbow. He was shifting me around again, and sliding his body onto my lap, his legs straddling mine.

Eyes hooded and hands lifting immediately to his hips, I managed a smile. Duo's hands hadn't stopped; his fingertips skimmed the surface of skin over my chest, up to my shoulders and down my arms to the wrist, only to reverse their route. His lips were parted slightly, his eyes watching mine, his look open, unguarded, and tender.

I lost my smile in the wave of emotion, and my arms rose up his back, pulling him close. "I love you," I whispered, kissing him.

"Love you," he returned between planting kisses on my jaw and neck.

The raw wanting of him, the need for him, the _hunger_ to feel him, feel all of him, had me jerking on his shirt, popping buttons and ripping seams. I left bruises, and picked up a couple of my own. But his shirt was off, and his undershirt followed. I fumbled with his belt buckle, trying to keep my tongue in his mouth, and failed. Duo slapped my hands away, stood up long enough to shed his fatigue pants and boxers, and he was back. Naked skin to naked skin, I couldn't seem to touch him enough, couldn't taste him enough.

"Holy God damn!" Duo swore softly, panting into my neck. "I… shit, Heero." He twisted suddenly, bending at the waist, and snagged his pants.

"Duo," I groaned out, feeling the press of his erection grinding into my own. Orgasm was imminent.

"Here." He was back, touching me, kissing me, pressing something cool and vaguely tube shaped into my hand. "Use it on me, now!"

A long deep kiss, and I managed to break away long enough to see what he'd given me. Lubricant. I uncapped it behind his back, lost the lid somewhere on the floor when he rocked his hips, and nearly lost control over ejaculation.

"Fuck!" I growled, and blindly covered fingers with the stuff.

"That's what I want," Duo murmured against my lips, took the lower one between his teeth, and drew back, taking it with him.

With barely a nudge of warning, I plunged two fingers inside, and surged forward to swallow the gasp he made with my mouth covering his. Seconds passed and the tension eased in his grip. Fingers imitated the act of fucking. He broke the kiss with a low throaty groan, and his body bowed, his forehead came to rest on my shoulder.

"Oh fuck, Heero…," he gasped. And I prodded that spot again. A tremor shook his body, and _I_ moaned.

This was taking too long; this wasn't lasting long enough.

I wasn't going to last through a thorough prep, and by the way he was leaking precum, I didn't think Duo would either. Dropping the tube by my leg, I reached for his jaw, lifted his head, and held him, giving him kisses tender, and gentle.

"My shorts," I murmured against his cheek. I was rewarded with his hands moving between our bodies, forcing the waistband down and exposing my cock. His touch was fire, and it was my turn to gasp as his hand circled my erection.

He pushed himself back on my suddenly lax fingers, and I started to match the pace he set. "Lube," he demanded, voice rough and breathing ragged.

My hand dropped to grope about for the tube, and closed over it, squirting a small geyser out when Duo brought our erections together, rubbing both between his hands. He chuckled weakly, and slipped a hand away to take the lube from me. He was quick in application, and I lost where he tossed the tube when he was done.

"Now would be good," he said, lifting a hand to grip my shoulders. "I'm not going to last long as it is."

I nodded in agreement, being in the same shape. My hands went to his hips, helping to guide his body as he rose up on his knees. One of his hands held my cock as he lowered himself; gray edged my vision, and fingers tightened their grip in bruising strength.

Hearing Duo moan, I forced my eyes to focus. His head was arched back, his eyes closed, and his mouth open. He was panting in short harsh breaths. I wanted to come watching him.

When he was seated, he settled into me, both hands on my shoulders. He rubbed his cheek against mine, whispering faint words I couldn't make out. His back was slick with sweat, and my hands glided over his skin, caressing and touching.

"Okay." The word was a bare whisper, but I heard and dared to move, to support him as he moved.

A steady rhythm of shallow thrusts, in a gentle rocking motion. I levered up using thigh muscles, up on the balls of my feet, and my back pressed hard against the back of the couch. Deeper, longer thrusts and he arched into me, a short cry on his lips. I was chanting his name under my breath, wanting, needing, reaching for more.

His lips were there, kissing mine, open and moaning, calling for God and more and deeper, harder. His mouth was hot to my tongue; his body surrounded me in burning heat. And he was vibrating, quivering. Coming.

Cradling him as he rode the wave out, I was rocking up into him, keeping to the unhurried pace we started. He roused, eyes opening to gaze at me with a sated smile. 'Love you,' he mouthed, and he rode me, pushing me past the edge I was skirting.

Head back, body arching off the cushion, legs taut, and feet pressing holes in the floor. I lost minutes of consciousness. Reason faded in, leaving me slumped back on the couch, Duo holding me, watching me with a moderated version of that tender look.

"Stay with me?" I asked, knowing sleep was inching its way in.

"Always." Was his answer.

**- & -**

Thursday morning arrived far too early, but I had another day of tests and skills assessment, and Duo had a court appearance. He shuffled out with a piece of toast in his mouth, a travel mug of coffee clutched in his hand, and a borrowed shirt. I promised to call him later, when I had a break, and he accepted the invitation to stay the night.

Somehow, being faced with another grueling day didn't seem so bad after all.

It was late afternoon when I made it back to the apartment. The day's tests weren't as draining, or I was getting used to them. I wasn't expecting Duo for a couple of hours. His court appearance ran late, and he had 'things to do', as he put it. I had time to take a long shower, and to make a quick meal.

A stop at the grocers on the way home, I sorted through the bag, leaving items I was about to use on the counter, and putting the rest away. My phone rang while I was popping open a beer. It was Meloney.

"Guess what?" she demanded, interrupting my greeting.

I held the phone away to glare at her by proxy. Shaking my head, I said, "You're pregnant."

"Ha! As if," she choked out. "They know how to prevent those kinds of things these days, you know."

"So I hear," I murmured, and took a draw from my bottle. Back in the living room, I managed to untie and toe off my shoes without losing the phone or the beer.

"Dufus," she called me, and I glared at the phone again. "—getting married!"

"You're getting married?" I asked to confirm, and settled a shoulder against the window frame.

"Yes!" Meloney was close to shouting. "We're planning for June, after we graduate."

The image of a pressure keg exploding made me want to caution her against combining too many events into a short time. But, she sounded too happy, too giddy with the emotional high. Maybe later when her life evened out again.

"That's great news, Mel," I told her instead. "Congratulations."

"It is great, isn't it?"

I had to smile. "It is." Letting only a moment pass, I asked, "When do I get to meet Mister Right?"

Meloney laughed lightly. "Maybe this weekend? I was calling to tell you I'll be coming home Sunday. Is that okay?"

Thinking on words and promises exchanged the night before, I was nodding into the phone. "I will be out before you arrive."

"Oh?" A curious note entered her voice. "And how are _things_ going for you?"

Again, I smiled. "Confident enough to say I'll never have to borrow your apartment again."

"Oh Heero," she said softly. "That's so good to hear."

I cradled the phone to my ear, and watched the sun sink farther down in the skyline. "Yes, it is, isn't it."

**- & -**

Duo ended up not staying the night, but he promised to meet me for breakfast in the morning. My first day of normal hours, with a somewhat normal schedule. My orientation period was over. Thursday, I had been assigned an office, and even managed to meet staff support members, and had been briefed on applicants to staff my team.

I wanted to be at work early. I wanted to get a jump-start on finding out those I had to choose from, and begin taking notes on each candidate's strengths and weaknesses. At least, that was the plan.

Finding Duo sitting at the round conference table, two tall heat cups filled with steaming liquid (coffee and tea, my nose informed me), and a bag from the bakery down the street from the apartment sitting on its surface, I tossed the plan out the window.

I exchanged a brief kiss with him, and pulled out the chair next to him. "Black Iris?" I questioned, smelling the steam rising from the cup in front of me.

Duo nodded, pleased, and reached for the bag. "I brought croissants." And he went on to tell me the story of how he nearly had to beat off this woman to get the pastries, and I let him speak, to ramble on in that easy way of his.

"How did you know I would be here this early?" I interrupted.

He paused for a moment only, and smiled. "Easy," he told me, brushing his hand against mine. "You told me yesterday about the applicants you have to choose from and how you wanted to start putting your team together." He shrugged. "That tells me you'd be here early and stay late until you're satisfied with the results."

I drank my tea, and glanced out the windows edging one wall. Morning wasn't always the best time of day for me, but, starting with today, I had the idea morning was about to become more than acceptable.

"Ready, Heero?" Duo asked, and I knew without clarification what he meant.

Taking another sip of my tea, I covered Duo's hand with my own, and answered with a simple, "Yes."

**- & -**

/part 5

/story


End file.
